I've never been a fighter. I just don't have it in me. Growing up, Mom and Dad always told me to think about others first. Put yourself in their shoes. Empathise.
I can go on about how they can go on but let's just leave it at that.
It's my greatest strength...and also my greatest weakness. I give in too fast, too easily.
Be it socially or at work, to strangers especially. I guess this is why the service industry has always had that prestigious appeal to me. Although, we all know the grass is always greener huh. And I've experienced the hospitality line first hand too; so it's no cake-walk that's for sure.
It's a funny feeling, to be marginalised; written off without consideration. At this point I can feel the melodrama meter is kind of topping off, so I'll lay back on the theatrics.
It feels good to write again, once in a while. At first you start off slow, wondering what you'll write about. You have a thousand thoughts milling around yet where do you start. Then ideas materialise, thoughts become coherent, words line themselves up and sentences form.
At this point I'm half inclined to label this as my half-yearly rant, judging by the short stories that separate each.
It's been a rather introspective two years – comparatively speaking (looking at you, yesteryears). Almost too much time for self-reflection and inner monologue-ing, these rants included. After my theatre performance earlier in January, it's been nothing but tucking myself away in a corner at school, mugging hard with my friend for the Year 1 Finals. Socially I'm left wanting but I'm still sane yet.
I found myself a job at the Singapore Business Federation for the holidays and then maybe through school. It's with the Corporate Communications department and so far it's been a really good experience for me, both professionally and personally. The general environment might leave much wanting but my immediate sphere is great.
The transition into a quasi-working life wasn't as jarring as I'd expected. I guess in part this is due to the fact that Mom is sick and Dad is out of a job, so income is actually a pretty pressing issue. (And I'm really digging the office-attire look). This seems to be the running consensus of a growing group of people around me sans the office-attire comment.
Circumstances force our hands and we adapt. Good thing I'm pretty easy going (Refer to: I've never been a fighter); but then again, as things change, the prospect of being a 'fighter' doesn't seem too daunting an idea.
Now that this random rant/personal life update on a non-personal medium is out and done with, let's end off with some intangible aspects like world views in non-linear fashion:
I'm growing less connected to day-to-day happenings. Authoritarian governance is the most effective form (Shocking?). My cynicism is still immensely high; I'm jaded at the world and then some. Professionalism might die before Chivalry. Bus rides are infinitely more comfortable than MRT travel. Economic pursuit seems to be the driving force for most policies; it should not be the case in my opinion but a sad necessity in this paradigm. Never been one for nihilism but I'm starting to appreciate its merits.
