A Tobusucs Next Door

The Lonely Realization

I waited patiently for the nurse to come back while I carefully peeled back covers on the cards to see the message inside. Random people I didn't know actually cared. Not only did I learn Toby's name once again but I found out that he's in love with me too, which is great thing to feel when you wake up after three months. I sat up on the bed, running fingers through my hair and trying to make myself presentable. About ten minutes later the nurse returned looking a bit stricken.

"I'm sorry, I can't contact your friend..." She apologized. "He's on vacation."

My heart dropped.

"W-where is h-he?" I stuttered, feeling like I wanted to cry again. I also caught a glimpse of the heart shaped scar on my forearm which made me feel even worse.

"It turns out he is in Cancun."

"Mexico?" I gasped quietly. The nurse ignored me and notified me that I'll not be alone for long. I needed to have an extreme check up from some doctors before I do anything. It was said to be a few hours of scans and other medical procedures. If everything seemed okay I would be out of here by next week. I smiled at the thought. After the nurse left, two doctors began moving me onto a transportable bed. I felt distant, imagining what my life is going to be like with Toby in my life. I assumed that's what a lot of people think of on a daily basis.

LATER

Once again I woke up from a slight haze, and sure enough, I was back in my hospital room again. I quickly sat up and glanced around, wondering if anything was different. But nothing was changed. I sank back down into the hard mattress again and sighed. A thought struck me. Toby has YouTube! Maybe he is filming his trip? I saw the closest laptop, which had a sticky note on the top that read: "Brought this for you, Toby x." I smiled and pushed the lid open. After I had scoured YouTube I found his vlog channel. I watched his recent vlogs hopefully. Sure enough, he was in beautiful Cancun. It didn't take long for me to realize he was with Olga.

With Olga.

Just the two of them.

And they left on Valentine's Day.

I felt my heart drop and I shut the laptop slowly. He had found someone else. He had given up hope. I felt the sickening blackened loneliness surround me once again. I WAS alone now. I hunched myself into a ball under the thin crispy covers. It will all be over soon I guess. Before I knew what was happening, I fell asleep again.