Merthur - Love in the Time of War

Chapter 11 - A Sad Silence

Merlin's POV

I wander aimlessly through the forest with no destination in mind. My head reeling with thoughts on the events of the previous day. All those druids... dead. Their homes destroyed. I did nothing to protect them. Nothing. I feel ashamed of myself. It's my duty to protect the people within the lands my father has freed from Uther and I failed them. I let them die while I ran.

My fists clench and unclench at my sides. Guilt and anger weighting me down. What were Camelot Knights doing there for? Were they hunting druids? If they were why risk the chance of entering my father's lands?

I sigh. Tired of everything that has happened lately. One problem keeps sprouting after another. First there's the warning from Kilgharrah, which still doesn't make any sense to me. Then, Arthur. Now this. I let out another sigh before glancing around at my surroundings, hoping nature could take my mind off things.

Many of the trees in the forest have begun to lose their leaves. Piles upon piles of the them lay on the ground, making a satisfying crunch every time I step on one.

After watching the brightly coloured leaves dance to the ground for a while as I walk, I stumble upon a familiar clearing. I'm surprised to find myself back at the waterfall. The water is crystal clear today. The bright blue reflects the sky above. The only thing that seems to disrupt the scenery is the field of corpses and dried blood.

I almost forgot about those bandits we killed here... I guess the least I can do is give them a grave. I begin by collecting the bodies and bringing them farther into the forest with the help of my magic. I lay them down gently side by side before digging a hole beside each one with magic. I place each one in the grave and pile the dirt atop the bodies. I gather some stones and mark each one. When I'm finished I head back to the clearing.

I arrive to see the dried up patches of blood on the grass. With a wave of my hand the blood starts to clear itself away. After the bloods all gone I finally stretch and slump down to relax by the usual tree. I'm basking in the autumn sun when I hear Arthur arrive. I feel my heart jump slightly in my chest when I see his face. His golden hair is perfectly combed as usual and his blue eyes still shine like the lake. Despite the fact that I don't even know if Arthur has feelings for me, I'm tempted to throw myself at him and kiss him before a small voice in the back of my mind decides to remind me of what he said. I stop myself. Don't get carried away.

He gives a small smile when he sees me. I can tell he's nervous. His eyes dart around everywhere, meeting everything but my own. He makes his way towards me and sits down beside me, further away then usual.

We don't say anything. It wasn't out of place. We did leave each other to our own thoughts at times but it's different now. The mood feels off. The atmosphere has changed. The usual calming and secure feeling gone. Instead replaced with restlessness. We keep glancing at each other only to turn back around the second our gazes meet. Our fingers drum against the grass or on our knees. I can tell neither of us are able to think straight in the others presence because it's just too much. Our minds keep drifting to each other. Always wanting to say something but never having the courage to, so we remain silent.

Time passes. The clouds roll by and the sun begins to sink down the horizon. Neither of us have said a word. I finally can't take the silence anymore. I want to leave. I get to my feet. Arthur turns to look. "I'll see you later... I guess," I mumble before turning around and heading out of the clearing.

I sigh when I'm far enough away. I kick a stone across the ground. My heart aches in my chest both in longing and pain. Longing for those smile filled days. Longing for time to reset just to experience them again. Yet, pain because of the words that were said. Pain because I know I can't go back again. Pain because things between us will never return to the way they were.