Sacrilegious {ziall}

For The First Time

Niall laid down on Liam's bed, keeping quite for a long moment as he stared at the plain white ceiling. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. It was difficult for the young man to explain his feelings about everything to Liam, his lovely best friend. It took him at least ten minutes to sort his thoughts properly.

"I'm gay." he blurted out, covering his mouth immediately, his breathing sped up. Afraid that Liam would force him out, he squeezed his eyes shut, pulling his knees to his chest. Niall couldn't stop the sadness and the terror that he felt deep inside.

The surprise he felt when liam's strong arms were suddenly holding him close was immediate and intense. He looked up, scared to his best friend.

"do you hate me?" he asked brokenly, and liam shook his head, quickly. "no, of course not." the older boy assured, kissing niall's forehead. "I could never hate you, especially for something like that. Why should I push you out for loving another human being...even if it is Zayn." he said slowly as if to make sure his assumption was correct.

Niall stayed silent for a while. "he's special, Liam." Niall said. "I know that you don't believe me, but it's true. He's hurt and scared and alone and....he just needs someone." he tried to explain, staring at Liam with wide blue eyes. Liam didn't say anything for a moment; he just nodded.

"okay." he said softly. "tell me about what's been going on with you two." he said slowly. Niall nodded, blushing. He was quite embarrassed to tell Liam about everything that had happened, and he decided to skip over some of the things.

An hour later, Liam was still completely engrossed. Niall was going on and on, blushing and gushing and giggling. A beautiful smile, gracing his face. "He is so gorgeous. God." he said with a giggle.

Liam cooed, reaching for his hand. "you really like him...you should tell him." he said softly, ruffling niall's hair. "I'd be willing to bet money that he likes you just as much. You should introduce me, invite his to have lunch with us or something." Liam offered, laying down. "I'm honestly not surprised. You've been eye-fucking him for years. Tell me, was it the smoking that you found sexually appealing or just the fact that he doesnt give a shit?" he asked, chuckling.

Niall turns a deep shade of red, looking down. "stop it." he said quietly. "I haven't been eye-fucking him. I just...he's different. Than everyone else. And he's so.../wrong/." he said with a chuckle. "I dunno...I just never expected myself to be into someone like him. "he's all sexy and sultry and..." he trailed off, biting his lip.

"Niall horan...I need to place a bet on how soon you'll lose your virginity." he said seriously, nodding once. "I'm going with...less than two months from today." he said, and Niall was mortified. He stood up immediately, grabbing his stuff.

'you have a date to get ready for. Have a nice night with Dani. Tell her that I say hello." he said before rushing out of the house, sneaking into his own, and freezing when he saw his father standing at the top of the stairs.

"Niall James Horan." he said lowly, his eyes intense. Niall flinched back a bit, his eyes scanning the room. "dad...." he trailed off, taking a step back. The next hour was a blur. There was screaming and throwing things, broken glass, a belt, a bit more screaming, and things only got worse when Niall opened his mouth to respond.

His father paled, his face falling. Niall was still cowering, curled up in the corner of the living room, a bloody nose, bruises already forming. He looked only at his fathers feet, shivering.

"what do you mean you're gay?" he demanded, his voice more hushed than it had previously been. Niall swallowed thickly. "I had assumed it was pretty self-explanatory." he said quietly, his vocal chords tense enough for his voice to come out hoarse, quiet.

"get out of my house. Take your things, and don't come back." he said turning on his heels and walking up to his own room.

Niall stayed still on the floor for what seemed like a long while before standing up and going upstairs. He pulled out his duffle bag before pulling down as many clothes as he could fit inside, adding his laptop on top and grabbing all of his money. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, sniffing when he saw the blood smeared across his skin.

He pulled the duffle over his shoulder before leaving the house, tears in his eyes. He looked down to liam's house, cursing when he saw that liam's truck was gone. Liam was gone. Niall was alone.

He pulled out his phone, dialing Zayn's number and dialing. He waited for a minute, letting out a relieved sigh when he heard a soft "hello." coming from Zayn. He sniffled.

"hello." he said quietly, new tears forming in his eyes. He could hear Zayn moving, shifting position. "what's wrong, Niall?" he asked calmly.

Niall swallowed thickly, shaking his head. "C-can I stay with you?" he asked, his voice shaking while the tears fell past his eyes, streaking his face. He heard Zayn grad his jacket and helmet. "of course you can....where are you? Are you at your house?" he asked, and Niall made an almost choking sound, nodding.

"yeah." he said hoarsely. "I'm sorry." he added after, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand, tears mixing with his blood. He let out a shaky breath. "I mean...can I /stay/ with you?" he asked again, and zayn was quiet for a minute.

"my answer hasn't changed. Of course you can, Niall. Stay where you are, I'm coming to get you." he said softly, and Niall nodded. "okay." he said softly, ending the call before throwing his phone down the pavement, smiling with a sort of sick joy as he watched it break.

He sat on the curb, waiting patiently until Zayn pulled up on his bike, looking down. "you are a right mess, Mr. Horan." he said softly, offering Niall a hand, pulling him up. "hold tight onto that. It's going to be difficult to ride with that." he said, looking at Niall's bag. "c'mon." he said, getting on the bike.

A couple minutes later, Niall had figured out exactly how to hold onto both Zayn and his things, clutching them both tight like a lifeline, closing his eyes and pretending like everything was going to be okay.

When they arked in front of the apartment, Niall stood up, taking off the helmet and pulling his duffle bag closer. He leaned into Zayn, allowing the older boy to lead him up to the familiar flat.

Zayn took him to the bedroom, throwing his bag on the bed before pulling him in for a kiss, holding him gently. There was something about the way that Zayn was holding him. It was different than before. It was more gentle, more caring.

He pulled back, opening his eyes and staring up at the darker man. "I need to shower." he said softly, running a hand through his hair. Zayn nodded. "I'm going to clear you some space in the closet." he said softly. "but you're always welcome to wear anything that's mine." he added, nodding.

Niall just nodded, going to the bathroom and showering, cleaning himself up and then staring at himself in the mirror. His chest and abdomen was all bruised up, as were his arms. He shivered, staring at his bruised nose and black eye.

Not wanting to be in that state for any longer, he went out to grab a pair of boxers and some sweats and a long sleeved shirt, covering all of the bruises that he could.

He found it strange that Zayn never once pressed him for answers, never asked any questions. He just made space for Niall, making Niall feel at home. He walked over, pulling Niall to his chest. "I'm going for a smoke." he said softly, kissing the smaller boy's temple. "c'mon." he said, pulling him out onto the small balcony, grabbing a pack from his back pocket and a lighter from his front. He lit a cigarette, offering it to Niall first.

He took the poison cautiously, taking a small drag, his eyes widening when he didn't choke. Zayn smiled, taking the poison back, and this time, Niall watched as Zayn took slow, long drags.

"it still confuses me...how it looks so sexy when you do it. Almost makes me have my own soft of death wish." he said, shaking his head. Zayn smiles back at him, nodding. "lots of practice is all." he said. "c'mon, you look like you could use a cuddle." he added, taking the smaller man's hand and leading him to the bed.

Tonight I'd the first night gpthst zayn doesn't make Niall take off his clothes, pulling back the covers and waiting patiently for Niall to join him instead. As soon as the blonde lad was under the covers, zayn pulls him close, kissing his cheek. "sleep well, beautiful. I'll be right here when you wake up."