The Bagel: A Vangal Story

Chapter 6

Vanoss Pov

I ran out of the bar and down the street, avoiding girls just in case they would attack me. 'I feel like i forgot something.... shit i forgot my car' I facepalmed and jammed my keys into the keyhole. I walked in and found bambi sleeping.

Man, she looks so heavenly when she sleeps. I could just stare at her for hours....

BOOM

I jumped up, looking around for what caused the loud sound. Ugh, my eyes are killing me. I went to the bathroom and looked up into the mirror. 'Holy shit'

My eyes were redder than Bambi's period blood. I checked my watch, '9:18'. Holy shit, have I been staring at Bambi for 4 fucking hours!? I didnt even think i've been blinking. Goddammit, i promised myself i wouldnt go all Edward Cullen.

*timeskip*

I was packing my video equipment and clothes into a big luggage that i was sharing with Bambi. She invited me to go visit her family, i cant wait. Since i left the car at the bar we're going to have to walk. I took bambi by the hand and walked down to the bagel shop.

As i was walking I bumped into some people who offered me money. I looked at them weirdly and told them I was good. 

"But, sir, you look like you need it."

"Excuse me? Ive got places to be with my girlfriend." I hold bambi up so he could see her. He looked frightened and dug more money out of his pocket.

"In that case, use the money to check yourself into a looney bin instead, you old crackhead." He hurried off.

I flipped him off and walked to the shop. It was closed so I had to stealthily sneak in. I found a rock nearby and threw it at the window. 'Nailed it'.

The shop didnt have an alarm because... cmon its a fucking bagel shop who would want to steal a bagel. I walked in through the window and started unpacking. I unrolled my sleepingbag and lit a candle.

I looked around, amazed by how many relatives Bambi has. I've met her Aunt Blueberry and Grandpappy Poppy Seed. Oh, dont forget her french cousin in law French Onion, hehe funny guy.

She walked me over to 2 bagels, which were her parents, the Oversized Bagels. I was so nervous, i could feel myself starting to sweat. I picked up Bambi's mom and said hello.

"Hello Mrs.Bagel, I'm Evan Fong from VanossGaming. I'm pretty sure you dont know who I am since youre a bagel. I-I mean, not that its a bad thing, I mean who doesnt like oversized bagels. i-i mean your not fat your just oversized because thats what people call you, i-i mean shit. Oops, sorry for swearing, its just im nervous as fuck, i mean... DAMMIT!" 

I got so nervous......

 

that i sharted myself.

Long and hard.

There was a spluttering noise coming from my ass as more nervous shart bubbles came out. It was so loud, that someone got suspicious and called the cops.

The cop came in and once he saw me, a man talking to a bagel who was wearing shit stained khaki pants, he didnt think twice before tasing me.

*Timeskip*

I was sitting in a jail cell alone, because who would want to sit next to someone who just sharted themselves. I was snuggling up with my shoe, because the cop wouldnt let me take Bambi with me. I started to sing.

"Cause I'm all alone, theres no one here beside me. And my problems have all gone, theres no one to deride me. But you got to have frie-."

 The door opened. I squinted and looked up, and saw Marcel's huge ass face all up in here.

Tyler came in and gagged, eyes watering. "Holy fucking shit Evan, whats that smell?"

I sighed," My hopes and dreams."

"Oh god, no it aint. It smells like you just sharted your ass off." He took an air freshener out of his pocket and plugged it into a wall. "Ah, better"

Marcel looked worried," Dude, the cops told us that you broke into the bagel shop and found you with shit in your pants while talking to a bagel."

"We were just visiting her relatives. I met her Grandpappy Poppy Seed, do you wanna meet the-."

Then it hit me.

I FORGOT ABUT BAMBI

"Holy shit guys, we gotta go back to the bagel shop. I forgot Bambi!"

"Not now. Say, Evan, do you wanna go to a party?" That made me stop.

"Party?"

Marcel nodded," Yeah party. We could invite all of her relatives and throw a party for you. A Jail Bail party. How does that sound?"

I beamed," Yeah! Lets go!" They led me out and walked me to the car. Marcel unlocked the car.

I already had a plan, when they werent looking, I was gonna make a run for it.

"Guys... i need to pee."

Tyler groaned," Gross Evan, why didnt you pee at the jail."

"They didnt want my shit falling out of my pants when i pee and make a mess all over the floor."

They let me go behind the car to pee. They didnt want to supervise me because they didnt want me to shart all over them. As soon as i finished "peeing" I was about to make a run for it but the trunk opened quickly, and Lui was in front of me with a piece of wood in his hand.

"Hi Lui, what are you doing he-," before I could finish what i was saying, Lui hit me in the face.

Before i passed out, I heard Tyler laugh," Haha, what a fucking idiot."

'Yeah, well fuck you Tyler.'