My Boyfriend Billie

I don't need help

I pick up my sleeping pills and drive back home. I drive up the drive way and turn my car off. I sit there for what feels like hours. I grab my pills and look at them. I take a deep breath and put two in my hand. I debate on taking them as I swallow them down dry. I walk inside and Tre is sitting at the table drinking coffee with Joey in his high chair playing with his food. I walk up the stairs into my room and hide my pills. 'Whats the point now that he knows?' I moved the pills to the bathroom cabinet and walked out, down the stairs. I hear a knock on the door and I walk up to open it. I was surprised when I opened it to see Adrienne.
"Oh hey what are you doing here I thought you weren't supposed to come until later?" I asked confused.
"Well when I get a call from Tre, of all people asking if he should drop Joey off at 9:00 or me pick him up I decided to come as soon as I could. What the hell happened?"
"Nothing." I lied. I love Joey I can't have him taken away from me so soon. She gave me a skeptical look and walked inside. Tre walks up with Joey and his stuff.
"I'll help you load his stuff into the car." Tre told Adie as she nodded and looked at me.
"Seriously Billie you're acting weird and you look different. What'd you do?" Adie asks me.
"I told you I didn't fucking do anything." I tell her a bit harsher than I wanted. She looked at me disappointed.
"Joey will be back when you shape up."
"What? Are you fucking kidding me? Nothing is wrong I'm fine everything is fine this whole week went fine!" My voice started to get higher and higher as I kept speaking.
"That's fine. We both understand." I look over and see Tre standing in the doorway. Adie nods and walks out whispering something to him on the way out. As Tre closes the door and says bye he turns and looks at me.
"What did she say to you?" I asked.
"Nothing don't worry about it." He says starting to walk away. I walk up to him to stop him from leaving.
"Don't fucking leave. What did she say!" Why am I getting so pissed off at him? At everybody??
"She said to fix you and to take care of you and to look after you! To make sure you don't do anything fucking stupid! Which you already did! I could have told her the shit you did this whole week and you wouldn't see your child again! But because I love you so much I decided to keep it a secret just like all the other shit you've been secretive about!!"
"Like what!? What have I kept a secret?!" I scream back at him.
"The pills Billie! God damn if your child being taken away from you is not your wake up call then hell what will be?! Cause I'm sure as hell out of ideas!" I look away from him and turn my head and look at the ground. I look up at Tre and he starts walking up the stairs to our room. I follow him and I'm watching him pack a bag. He's such in a hurry to leave and I still have so much to say.
"I thought you were suppose to stay and care for me and love me and look after me to make sure I didn't do anything stupid?" I asked in a smart ass and careless way. He didn't look up and he didn't speak. He finished packing his bag and looked up at me with his bag in his hand.
"I can't fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed and won't even try." He says and walks past me down the stairs and out the door. I'm standing in the doorway. I shut my eyes as tears start falling down my cheeks. 'Great I fucked up again.' I go to the bathroom and see my pills on the floor. Like somebody threw them. I get down on one knee to pick them up and study them. I quickly open them and take 6, I down them with a shot of whiskey and crawl into bed to fall into a deep sleep that I didn't know would be hard to wake up from.