Shiloh's POV.
I don't know why I did it. I'm not exactly sure of the cause of why I wanted to do it or why I did it in the first place. Too many thoughts were running through my mind at once, making it too hard to pinpoint exactly what made me want to do it. Sure, both Calum and Luke hurt me, but I'm not going to give away my life for a stupid boy who wasn't thinking at that point.
I was pretty upset that I lived at first, but now, I'm glad I did. I never got to tell Calum or Luke how I felt, I never got to say goodbye to my mom or my sister. I never got to say goodbye to my best friends. I still haven't been to college or graduated high school yet. I want to do all of those.
When I woke up, I felt horrible. I had a horrible headache, my stomach hurt. I didn't even know how long I've been asleep for. When I woke up, Calum was asleep in a chair next to me and Luke was asleep in a chair a few feet in front of my bed. I never expected Luke to come, or Calum really.
Calum was sleeping peacefully, scrunched up in the small chair, dry tears on his cheeks. I felt even more horrible for doing this to Calum. He seemed so upset, and looked broken. Doing that to him was so selfish, he never did anything to me but be here for me. The least I could do is continue on for him.
He wouldn't be able to see me graduate, or hear my valedictorian speech, or see my college acceptance letter. He wouldn't get to talk about how happy he is in interviews or be able to say he had a girlfriend. He wouldn't be able to get out of bed for days and he would stop eating and I can't believe I almost made him do that.
I might be thinking a little too ahead of myself, Calum never said he wanted to date me nor did he say that he liked me in anyway possible. But he has to, right? He has to like me, he would be this upset over someone who's just a simple friend.
Calum woke up not too long after I did. His eyes lit up and widened as he saw me awake, he instantly got up and hugged me tighter than I've ever been hugged before. He hugged me so tight, I could feel all my broken pieces being molded into myself again.
"I'm so glad you're okay and awake and alive. I've never been so scared in my whole life." Calum sighe in relief, finally letting go of my aching body.
"I'm so sorry that I scared you. I'm so sorry, Calum." I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to cause any more pain to Calum than I had already, but I couldn't help the fact that I almost completely destroyed the I'm in love with. "I'm so sorry."
"Babe, please don't cry or be sorry. I'm not mad, I'm just scared. I'm so sorry for what I said and I just want you to know that I love you so much and can't stand to be without you. Please, never do this again. I want to attend your graduation from high school and from college. I want to be the one coming with you to college." Calum had also began crying.
"Coming with me to college, what do you mean?" I asked, sitting up. He knew how determined I was to get into a college and do whatever I can to make something of myself.
"You inspired me to take my life back into my own hands. Obviously college would be hard for me to do with the band, but I want to do it and the months that I'm away, I'll do online. For my first year, we're gonna take a break from touring and move us to where ever you want to go to school, babe." Calum was smiling now, wiping his and my tears off of our both equally soaked cheeks.
"I'm so proud of you, Cal." I meant every word I said. He had told me before how he didn't find college useful and that he was perfectly fine in the position he was in. I'm proud he decided to at least try college.
"And I'm proud of you, Shy. You could've died, but you pulled through it." Calum smiled, getting up from his chair and sitting next to me on the hospital bed. "Shy, I want to be with you. I want to help you and make you happy. I want to fix you, to tape up all your broken pieces. I know once you break, you'll never be perfect again, but you're already perfect to me and that's all that matters. I love you so much and I want to save you."
awh i cri :-(
this story is ending soon!!!!!
probably at chapter 30-35 + epilogue.
heres the layout.
the second to last chapter will be when shiloh graduates high school
the last chapter will be when she gets accepted into college (she'll have applied for 3-5 colleges & youll just have to see which one she picks ;))
the epilogue will be like a normal story part, but it will be probably hers and cals junior year of college. :)
thank you all for sticking with me through this story & i didnt really plan on it being a calum story tbh but it just kind of....happened. but yeah, im gonna start a mikey story soon when i finish this one probs :)
