Loved and Lost

Chapter 8

The next morning was Sunday, the day before we wen back to school. I was in Ryan's lounge, on the sofa that we had sat on so many times together. Our first kiss, saying we love each other, making love. I couldn't sit there anymore. I moved onto the big armchair opposite. Rich didn't seem to mind. I guess he understood. Rita came in, carrying three cups of tea. She put them on the coffee table and sat down next to Rich.

"Kayleigh, you said you wanted to tell me something?" she looked at me. I glanced across at Rich. He nodded his head, and came and knelt down next to me. He squeezed my arm. I took a deep breath.

"We had sex," I said, straight away. "Me and Ryan. 2 days before the accident. I'm sorry." I waited for her to scream, yell, tell me to get out, and never to come back. But she stood up and walked to me. She pulled me up and... hugged me. She held me, as she cried. Then, she said, "Thank you." I wasn't too sure why she was thanking me.

"What for?" I asked.

"Because my Ryan wasn't a virgin. He didn't miss out on the best experience of his life, and that means a lot to me Kayleigh."

On Monday morning, I got ready for school. I knew what everyone would be saying, and thinking, but I had to be strong. I set of to the bus stop. It was wierd, I've never been to the bus stop without Ryan. Well, obviously when he was I'll, but that was rare. But when I saw Rich walk up that road on his own, I realised that it was harder for him, much harder. So I smiled at him, and walked up to him.

"Hey," I said. We were getting a bit closer now, we weren't arguing or taking the mess out of each other. We had put it all aside, from that day that Rich told me about Ryan.

"Hi," he said. The bus pulled up, and we got on. We sat down next to each other. The good thing about sitting with Rich was that he felt the same as me. So, instead of making small talk, we just sat in silence, staring out the window, lost in our own thoughts.

10 minutes later, the bus stopped outside the school gates. I sighed. I guess I had to face the rest of the world sometime. I just wish I didn't have to do it today.

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I walked through the school doors. I heard some people whisper, and me and Rich got some strange looks. But I held my head high and walked on. It was difficult not to scream at them, or tell them to mind their own business, but to be honest, I knew it would be. I suppose I just hoped it wouldn't.

I was putting my jacket in my locker, when I heard a familiar voice shout my name. I turned around and smiled.

"Hi, Sash, hi Caitlin," I said, hugging them in turn.

"We heard," Caitlin said. "Sorry." she shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah, he was a great friend," said Sasha. See, that was the good thing about them. They were supportive and didn't push me to say more than I wanted. I forced a smile, but tears came pouring out of my eyes.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Kay," said Caitlin, putting he arm around me. Sasha just stood there, but she's never been one for serious, emotional stuff, so I didn't expect her to deal with this any better than I could.

"It's okay," I said, wiping my eyes with my cardigan sleeve. "Come on, let's get to our lesson. What have we got first?" Sasha got her timetable out and looked at it.

"English with Mr Richards." I groaned. "Right, what a good start to a new school year." I slammed my locker shut, and we set off.