Loved and Lost

Chapter 10

By the weekend, I had probably spoken to everyone in my year, and most people in the school. You don't realise just how many people know you until they all come up and talk to you at the same time. Anyway, I'm going over to Ryan's house- I know I should stop calling it that but I can't. We're having our own memorial service, and letting off balloons. It's mostly because his grandparents are very religious and like to do things properly, so his whole family are coming.

I knocked on the door. Rich answered. He was wearing a black shirt, skinny jeans and black trainers. He had spiked his long hair, which didn't suit him.

"Hey, Kayleigh, glad you could make it," he said, smiling.

"Hi," I said. "By the way, spiky hair doesn't suit you." I followed him out to the back garden.

They had put a lot of work into it. Chairs were set up in rows, with an aisle down the middle. They had decorated it with flowers and ribbon, and at the front there was a white podium and a bigger chair.

"We wants to give him the funeral he deserved, and the one you told me about." I looked around. Everybody, apart from me and Rich, was dressed in bright colours.

"Don't worry," he said, seeing my expression. "Mum went out and bought you an outfit. It's in a bag on the table inside."

"Why are you dressed all in black?" I asked. He pulled something out of his pocket and put it round his neck. It was a piece of white card. I laughed.

"Hello, my name is Rich, and I am your vicar for this afternoon." He was doing a rubbish posh voice, and I doubled over in laughter.

"Go on, go and get changed," he said, grinning at me.

I came back outside ten minutes later. I was in a bright, flowery strapless dress. It wasn't too short, and it bunched up at the bottom. There was also some white ballerina flats, a thin headband, and a silver necklace. She had thought of everything. I sat down on the third row.

"No, Kay, you sit up front," said Rich, pulling me up. I sighed and let him drag me onto the front seat next to the aisle. I saw his grandparents scowling at me, so I said, "Rich, maybe I should sit at the other end, or on a different row?" He followed my eyes, and said, "Look, just ignore my grandparents. They never wanted Ryan to have a girlfriend until he was 18. And losing his virginity at 15 means they just feel like it's all your fault. But they'll come around when they see how nice you are." I smiled weakly, and sat down.

The service was really funny and entertaining, just what Ryan would have wanted. Rich started off with a few vicar jokes, and then his dad made a funny speech. Then Rich asked me to say a few words. I stared at him and said, "But I don't has a speech prepared."

"Even better," he said. "Ladies and gentlemen, Kayleigh Thompson." Everyone clapped, and I walked up to the front.

"Just speak from your heart," Rich whispered in my ear, before going into the audience and taking my seat. I cleared my throat.

"Ryan was my best friend. I remember how we met. It was our first day in nursery. I wanted to join the role play, but the other girls wouldn't let me. I started crying, then Ryan turned up out of nowhere, and threw a bucket a of sand and water at them. We were best friends ever since." Everybody laughed, and I continued. "He loved to do crazy things, whereas I was a bit timid. I think that's why we were so close- opposites attract. I knew our friendship was special, so we didn't have any other close friends. When we moved up to high school, we both decided we should make other friends. So we did, but we never forgot about each other- we were still best friends. And he will always be my best friend, no matter where he is." Everyone cheered, and Rich wolf-whistled. I smiled sheepishly, and stepped down. Rich got up, and squeezed my arm as we past.

"Okay, now we are going to send balloon messages," he said. Rita handed everyone a balloon, a piece of paper and a pen. We all went to find somewhere to lean on. I went inside, and headed into the lounge. The table was taken up, as was the coffee table. I made my way upstairs, and looked for somewhere there. Ryan's room was locked, and even if it wasn't, I wouldn't go in there. Rita and Graham's room was full, so the only room left was Rich's room. I knocked, just in case someone was in there. When nobody replied, I opened the door. I went over to his desk, and cleared a small space. I sat on his chair, and started to write:

Ryan, I miss you with all my heart. It's not the same without you. I wish we...

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I screamed.

"It's okay, Kayleigh, it's me." I turned around to see Rich stood there, his hand still on my shoulder. He quickly moved it.

"Sorry," I said, picking up my things and standing up.

"It's fine, honestly," he said. "Just stay and finish your note." I quickly sat back down and scribbled a few more lines, then I blew up my balloon, put the paper inside and tied a knot.

"You ready?" said Rich.

"Yep," I said. We went back downstairs and outside, where everyone was gathered again. We all set our balloons free, and watched them float upwards. I knew that Ryan wouldn't get them, I wasn't stupid, but I still felt that I had said a proper goodbye as I watched my balloon float off into the sky.

There was a small buffet of party food. Everyone was standing around talking and laughing, and the atmosphere was calm and relaxed. I went over to where Rita was standing to thank her for my outfit.

"Oh, honey, you look amazing," she said when I reached her.

"Thanks, Rita, and thank you for buying it for me. It's beautiful."

"Oh, I didn't pick it out. Rich did." I looked at her.

"But he said you got it for me." She shook her head.

"No, he came home yesterday, with a bag in his hand, but he said it was just some new trousers. I wondered how you got changed." Graham called her name, so I was left on my own. I looked over at Rich, who was talking to his grandma. He looked up, and looked directly at me. I quickly looked away, but I knew he had seen me. But I just didn't understand why he lied about buying me the outfit. Was he embarrassed? Anyway, I knew he'd tell me soon enough.

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