hold me 𐦍 yeonbin

055ᯓᡣ𐭩

There is not much Soobin wouldn’t do for Yeonjun. He abandoned his entire life twice for him already, even though he still feels shitty about the way he left Woosung, and how unfair it was for him to drop him and everyone else so suddenly. Soobin imagines all the ways in which Yeonjun has grown since his first night out of the operating room. He asks more questions. He can identify more emotions. He understands that there is so much more to learn about this realm that Taehyun never covered. Soobin holds onto the imagine of Yeonjun immersed in a textbook, whispering the words to himself as he reads.

Picturing the bluebells as they sway in the wind and whisper a name only makes it harder to stay mentally present. What he left in the bluebells haunts him.

Next, Soobin pictures a stack of dirty dishes, a powerpoint with too many words on it, a failing grade, a late bus. It takes his human problems to tie him down to reality instead of dissociating at the site of Taehyun’s grin as he points back and forth between Soobin and Bora. He needs to focus, or Bora might get hurt.

“Any guesses?” Taehyun asks, pouting when neither of them makes a sound. “I seriously do not have much time,” he urges.

Soobin thinks of his last customer interaction. They left the store ten minutes after close and made Gahyeon fall from her exhaustion. Knowing Gahyeon will have double the paycheck she’s been receiving brings Soobin some relief.

It isn’t enough to think about Gahyeon’s beautiful voice, or Kai’s fake uptight attitude in his own emotional defense, or Woosung’s smile every time before they kissed. Soobin can feel his brain taking him to far away places, to mentally remove himself from the situation entirely.

“Fine,” Taehyun huffs. He drops his head pokes Soobin in the center of his chest. “It’s this one.”

Soobin doesn’t understand what he did or what the question was. Even as Taehyun searches Soobin’s eyes for his reaction, he gets nothing. Bora is silent behind them.

“Did you hear me?” Taehyun asks, annoyed. “I said you killed a pixie.”

Pixies can’t be killed. A human like Soobin is incapable of such a feat.

The moment catches up to Soobin and he stops dissociating, staring back into the eyes of the man who caused all Yeonjun’s grief telling him that he killed a pixie.

“He’s lying,” Bora says. “He’s desperate. He’ll be dead any second if he stays here.”

Taehyun places his free hand over his heart. “I would never lie in the presence of the King. Not even a star is capable of such heresy.”

A knife clashes to the kitchen floor as Bora gasps.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she says through her hand.

“But apparently, you would lie to me.”

Reacting on instinct, before he can stop his fragile human body, Soobin grabs Taehyun’s hand on his chest and twists. Instead of a pained groan or a sickening cry for help, Taehyun laughs and rips his hand away. He shakes it a couple times before holding his wrist.

Bora is right. He does look like he is dying. He is weak enough that he stumbles when Soobin knocks him backwards, catching himself on the back of the couch. The black hole in his eye grows.

Soobin, who killed a pixie, and Bora, the King. At first, nothing makes sense, and he wishes he had kept the memories he received in the bluebells. Deciding to let them hold onto what Soobin had learned is what helped him recover and live a normal human life. Now, he is unequipped, unprepared, because like a coward he chose to forget again.