A Not So Innocent Crush | a Lauren/You Fanfiction

Chapter 30: Random Strangers and Dark Closets

Chapter 30: Random Strangers and Dark Closets

I manage to blank out Lauren all weekend. I avoid her like she is the plague, and you are probably thinking why? Why am I not jumping around doing a happy dance because the girl I love likes me back?

Well, after a lot of contemplating over Lauren's revelation, I realise that I'm scared. I'm scared to be with her. She feels the same way, big whoop, (which it actually is), but my fear overpowers anything else. I've never been in a relationship before. What if I mess up? Do something wrong? What if it doesn't work out and I lose her? I don't think I can handle living in a world without Lauren. It hurts me to even think about that. And I don't think I can face her; she'll think I'm the biggest loser ever. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to end up hurt either.

But, at the same time, I'm being completely unfair to Lauren. She's probably thinking that I don't feel the same way and that all of this is her fault. To be honest, I'm still not over the fact that she likes me. Lauren Jauregui, the most beautiful, talented, smartest, amazing girl in the world, likes me, the most clumsiest, weirdest, socially awkward girl ever. How does that work?

When I returned to my dorm room that night, Ally and Camila asked me what Lauren wanted and if we were good now, but I couldn't find it in myself to reply. I just told them I wasn't in the mood and headed straight to sleep, my mind full of thoughts.

I don't think Lauren has told them of Friday nights' events, because they seem even more confused than before. But they do know something went down.

Anyway, today is Monday and its going to be a lot harder to avoid Lauren, seeing as we are in the same form and she's in most of my classes. Awesome, right? Wrong. I guess I'm going to have to find a way to wing it.

The bell rings throughout the building and I take a deep breath before following the swarm of students to their classes. I locate my form and walk through the already open door. Other students are bustling about, talking to their friends all whilst finding their seats at their desks. I find mine at the back and begin to walk to it, but my eyes catch a familiar pair of green ones.

I haven't seen her all weekend, and now that I am, I must say she looks terrible. Her usual bright and sparkling eyes are now ten shades darker and dull with fatigue; she has small circles under her eyes, betraying her tiredness, and her eyes are a little red. Was she crying? A sharp pain of guilt stabs through me at the thought of hurting her, so I turn away and avoid her sad eyes.

I'm pretty sure she wants to come to me and speak, but before she can, our form teacher silences everyone so he can do the register. We all sit quietly as he calls our names out, and I try to ignore Lauren's burning gaze into the side of my head.

"Lauren Jauregui?" he calls out with a bored tone, already hitting the spacebar of his computer, assuming she's in.

"Here," her raspy voice croaks out, making me flinch at the sound of her sounding so broken. I did that to her, didn't I?

After the register is taken, there is only five minutes left until everyone needs to head to their first lesson. Five minutes of which our form teacher said we can speak. As the class erupts into several different conversations, Lauren's head turns to my direction and she looks like she is about to stand up and walk my way, but I don't give her chance to as I stand up and walk straight to the front desk, past her questioning stare.

"Please can I have a toilet pass?" I ask him, causing him to look up from his magazine and at me with a raised eyebrow.

He groans before opening the top drawer of his worn-out wooden desk. He reaches inside and pulls out a small, rectangular laminated card, placing it on the desk.