MODERN BIBLE

B4 WE BEGIN

ayy yall wassup its ya texan here 2 intro u 2 modern bible !!!

the purpose of modern bible is to teach the bible to teens n millennials of the modern age. text lingo has expanded and so has the course of christianity. king james version aint as popular as it used to be--bein all shakespearian n stuff. conversational language has evolved and purely this is the simplest way to put the psychology of the modern bible: to make the bible seem relatable. being a fellow teenager and in public high school it is so HARD for me to commit to being invested in the word. esp w the fact that its hard to start from the beginning, also hard to follow along when i feel like my time is gone.. like a couple hundred years gone.. i can never pay attention and get the lessons i need to help me through life.

and that is why and how the modern bible was born. when u read this u will be learning bible stories, but u will understand it, and laugh a LOT. that's our main goal. to help you read one chapter, instantly get the lesson, and feel good about it.

comedy is my philosophy, im all things comedy, robin williams was honestly almost my dad, with everything he did i took as an honest lesson, i laughed, but i thought deeply of what he taught me. that's sorta the direction we're going.. let's make learning the word and walking with god too fun to resist yeah??

well get ready to knock ur socks off n bust a gut n probs shed a tear in happiness and sadness bc this is the modern bible yo !!! -violet

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what is goin on peeps it's soph

violet's lil explanation was pretty on point but imma add a few thingamajigs

FIRST OF ALL, we want everyone to know that this is N O T a parody of the Word of God!!! just like violet said, we are simply attempting comedy and ministry within the same package! we'd like to share what God has said in his book but we are simply making it as relatable as possible without being crass and raunchy. yeah they have versions of the bible like NIV and NLT (New International Version and New Living Translation, respectively), which are both easy reading, but this is targeted toward the teens who not only want to maybe take a look at the bible but also need a good laugh! and if any of you are confused about any of the stories we have rewritten, there will be explanations of the more difficult ones (i don't think anyone will get confused about adam and eve) and also the address of the verse will be written as well in case you want to read the real thing! 

our chapters are going in order according to how the bible was written--no mix-and-match stories here. we're not here to preach at you nor shove any religious things down your throat but to simply share what we believe in a friendly and fun way !! we hope you'll enjoy this as much as we will!!!

and if you have any questions regarding the bible or our beliefs, pleASE do not hesitate to ask!! if you don't agree with something we write about you may tell us or explain why or simply keep it to yourself but all we ask is that you are not rude about it :)

this is the modern bible, let's do this! -sophie