naive or seduced

when i wake up

I wake up in our bedroom. I sit up straight on the bed. I wrap my arms around myself. And my mind starts recalling all the memories of the event. The stench. His tongue. His touch. I shut my eyes as tightly as I can. I scream at the top of my lungs in the horror. And shake my head left to right.

Jason bursts in the room, the door flies open. He sees me. Dashes over to where I am and sits besides me. An grasps me softly but quickly as possible. His arms around me.

"shhhhh" he comforts me "it okay, he's gone now. No ones going to hurt you."

My screaming turned to tears. He rubbed his hand up and down my arm. And kissed my hair. He was truly calming me. I started shaking though. I cant help it. Its burned so fresh into my memory.

"make it stop" I say "make it stop"

"you're ok."

"please just make it stop." I cry.

"okay" he whispers .

"plea-" I begin "mmmm" he kisses me mid sentence.

We kiss. His hand caresses my cheek. His thumb brushing it lightly. He holds me right. His hands above my waist now. There slowly traveling lower. To where the man once held me. I try to pull away lightly. But he kisses me harder as if saying trust me and his hands continue to lower. My body stops shaking little less. He takes his hands away right when he's almost at the same spot.

"what are you- mmm" I say again.

With that he invites himself in. His tongue. Making it self at home. Once again. He's completely hooked now. He's now taking his hand from my side. Running it smoothly and quickly up my shirt. He takes my shirt off quick and flawless. So quick in fact that it left me no time to stop him kissing me again.

He keeps kissing me. Harder. And harder. More passionate and loving. Its like a drug. I cant keep my mind straight. He's undressing me and I'm letting him. I thought he was helping me.

" I. Thought. Mhmm that you where. Mhmm trying."

"to help you. I am." he kisses me. He unsnaps my bra. And smiles. He slides it off. He puts his hand right outside my breast. It's like he's placing his hand right outside my discomfort zone(s).

"right here, right?" he says with a smile.

"yeah." I say almost in a out of breath way.

"fuck it"

He makes himself a little bit heavier, bit by bit. So I eventually make it to the bed. The moment my skin touched the sheets. He grabbed my thigh. And rolled over. Putting me on top of him. I guess I'll never know how he does what he does. Especially to me.

I don't even know whats happening anymore. I just know I feel better than I did a minute ago. I strip him of his T-shirt. And I start kissing him on his chest. Then his neck. Almost as if I wanted to give him a hickey. But without actually giving him one. And he's enjoying it more than a little bit. And eventually are bodies are rubbing against one another.

Only after a few seconds. The phone goes off.

We both stop. We look dead at each other. Silence. The phone rings. And rings. He hit the machine.

"yo whats up" Jason says as he raises a finger to his lips telling me to be quiet.

"it's Daniel I was wondering if you where up for a double date tonight."

"nah, I was going to stay-".

"yeah we loved to go."

"Jason is that a girl. Dude you have a girl over. That ain't right."

Jason hits the machine again and hangs up. Giving me a annoyed look on his face. I looked down at him. Then I kissed him long and hard. He smiled.

"Man your something else."