Keeping Distance - Johnlock

Scars

John looked through the window to see Sherlock lying on the white hospital bed, but he had his eyes wide open. His open wound on his leg had been patched up and the cuts on his torso had been cleaned. John slowly pushed the door open and took a few steps into the bland room. Sherlock still didn't look at him. "Sherlock?" John walked around the bed and sat down beside Sherlock on the sheets. Sherlock still gave no expression but looked at John. They both sat there for a while before Sherlock reached out and held John's hand lightly. "I have a lot of explaining to do." Sherlock sat up slightly trying to keep his leg as still as possible. "No you don't, don't worry about it right now, we can talk later." John let out a little smile and so did Sherlock. Sherlock lifted up his hand to John's face and stroked his cheek, "Look what he done to you" Sherlock lets out a few tears, John wiped them away. "Don't worry I'm fine, it's you I'm worried about." They both sat there for a while. They were happy to see each other but didn't know how long this was going to last.

"Start from the beginning." John sat down close to Sherlock on the sofa. Sherlock looked deeply at John, "I missed you so much..." John smiled and held Sherlock's hand as they sat back on the sofa. "I did lie to you, obviously everything isn't okay. Going back to that night I know I should of told you, but John I couldn't. I just couldn't bring myself to worry you in anyway. I wasn't going to be the person that done that to you." Sherlock stopped. "But if you did tell me then maybe this wouldn't have happened." John sighed and looked down at Sherlock's leg, and looked at the top of his chest. "I had more important things on my mind that night... And I needed to tell you them because I knew either way this wasn't going to end well. When you fell asleep on me that night, I couldn't bear to close my eyes because I didn't want anything to happen to you if I did. So I stayed awake for a couple of hours just holding you in my arms. Knowing that I had you, I wasn't worried what happened to me. So after a couple of hours you rolled over to the other side of the bed, and I thought that was the best time to write you the note." Sherlock stopped and just looked around the room a little then focused back on John. John's facial expression didn't really change. "I was going to go to sleep for a few hours after I wrote the note, but I got a text message at around 4am. It was from Darren. He wanted me to meet him regardless of whether I had the information or not. So I went and that's when it gets a little blurry." Sherlock looked down, John squeezed his hand, "It's alright it you didn't want to talk about it." Sherlock looked back up to John and John pressed their lips together gently and softly. Sherlock closed his eyes causing a tear to roll down his cheek and onto John's lips. Sherlock pulled away, "No it's okay, and I'll be fine."

Sherlock sat up and moved himself closer to John to feel safer. John realised that something drastic had happened to see Sherlock in this state. "I took one last look at you as I walked out the door, you looked perfect. Scientifically nothing can be perfect but John Watson this time I knew that science was wrong in this instance because you are perfect to me. I placed the letter on your chair and got in a cab." John was overwhelmed with what Sherlock had just said, but Sherlock didn't realise how he just made John feel and kept on talking. "I'm not 100% sure what happened next but I think I went to meet Darren and I waited in an alley way a couple of miles away from here. Next thing I knew I was in a cell. There was nothing in the cell. The walls were just grey and dull. I tried to get up but my legs were chained together and so were my hands. I was shirtless and cold. I remember getting sharp pains in my head but I'm not too sure what that was. Then-" Sherlock stopped. His face froze and his eyes filled up. His eyes widened and a sudden shock come across his face. John looked confused, "Sherlock it's okay." John placed his hand on Sherlock's face. "I don't want that, no leave me alone!" Sherlock closed his eyes and started reliving what had happened. "No! I don't know! Why would I tell you?!" Sherlock yelled. "Sherlock listen to me. Listen to my voice, it's okay. It's over, I'm here open your eyes." John cradled Sherlock in his arms. Sherlock opened his eyes and couldn't stop crying. He cried into John's arms and for the first time someone had really hurt him.

"Sorry..." Sherlock wept to John. "No don't worry, you need to get some rest, come on." John helped Sherlock up in his shaken state and walked him to his bedroom down the hallway. John pushed the door open and sat Sherlock down on the edge of his bed. "I'm going to bed so if you need anything just text me." John kissed Sherlock lightly on the forehead and made his way up to his room. Sherlock still shaking looked at the door from where John had stood. Sherlock wiped his eyes and chucked his clothes onto the floor. He lifted his leg up onto the bed and got under the sheets. Sherlock still seemed shaken as tears dripped onto his pillow as he stared at the half empty bed. He knew that him being with John was going to put a strain on their relationship, but Sherlock knew if he was going to keep having these flash backs all its going to do it make John's life much harder. Sherlock stared at the empty pillow and closed his eyes.