I wake up in my house not remembering when or how I got here.I must have been knocked out when I was screaming at the officers.Rose.As I remember the traumatizing events of last night,it hits me like a ton if bricks.I don't cry like I thought I would instead keep my eyes wide open and just stare into space as I try to collect my thoughts.I felt no emotion what so ever.Why did it have to end like this?Why did it have to end at all?I know that there is nothing I can do,but I could've done something to prevent it from happening that night.I know I am never going to forgive myself for this.Never.I try to rid my brain of the thoughts by picking up my phone and looking at the messages from my friends.There are 16 new messages from Zayn,20 messages from Niall,10 messages from Liam,and 30 from Louis. Not to mention the 50 missed calls from them all together. Jeez they sent way to many.I decide to call Louis first because he's my best mate out of them all even though nobody knows that.Don't get me wrong I love all of them dearly but Lou has especially been there in times of need.I diall his number and he answers on the third ring.
"Dude what the hell I sent you like a million texts and calls and you don't answer? Are you okay?!?,Louis says on the other end with annoyance and concern at the same time.
"Don't worry mate, physically I'm fine...emotionally I'm bruised".
"I know how you feel after having those things happen,they can be scary sometimes".
"No Lou,something other than the accident has tainted me".
"Oh what is it?".
"Rose...she umm...s-she...".
"Spit it out Har".
"She died Lou".
"Ohh I'm so sorry Har,I had no idea".
"Its ok I got to go now Lou, tell the other lads what happened I don't really feel like discussing it anymore",I hang up before he can say anything else.
I'm on the bridge of tears now and then I realize I'm on my bed.The bed me and Rose slept together in...I can't contain it anymore I just let everything out,crying and muttering things in the air and I know no one can hear me.I thought all this crying were for broken hearted girls, but I guess its for broken hearted boys to.I never really understood until now.I know I probably look terrible.And when I look in the mirror I'm not surprised at reflection staring back at me.My face is completely pale,I have bags under my eyes and my usually messy hair is messed up even more.I try to splash some water on my face to see if it helps,but it doesn't. Oh well.I decide to go to the kitchen and get some water. I probably haven't had any since yesterday morning.And I kind of forgot about my job.I work at a little mechanic shop down the road that pays me for what I need. I probably should go down there and see if I even still have the job.I get dressed in my usual black jeans and T-shirt and get into my old car,and drive off.I start feeling really nervous,like every car is going to crash into me.I finally arive at the small shop with shaky hands from being nervous on the road.I enter through the door and walk into the office.I look for my boss everywhere until I finally see him talking to one of the other employees in their office.He's always being strict with us.If one thing went wrong then you were in for it.He saw me waiting at the door and excused himself and made his way toward me.He was a big burly guy with tattoos on both his arms and all around his neck.Yea he doesn't seem like the boss type but I mean somebody's gotta run the place.
"Where the hell were you Styles?!?!".
"Sorry boss but I couldn't be here because I just got in a severe accident and was hospitalized for a week".
"You should have called in!".
"Well I'm sorry,why don't you try dealing with things when both you and your girlfriend are bed ridden and then she ends up dying!!How does that sound?!".
His facial expressions changed from hard to sympathetic?
"Hey bud sorry for being so hard on you,had no idea, I was about to fire you but I guess it wouldn't be fair game if I did.Why don't you go back home and you can start back in a couple days?".
"Really?thanks boss!".
"Yea, yea now get outa here before I change my mind",he smirked and walked back into the employees office he was in previously. I wonder why he was being so nice to me.Usually he would've told us to suck it up and get workin'.Well I guess i can't complain.I get back into my car and drive down the road.
~
When I pull up in my driveway I see my parents car.Fuck.I'm really not in the mood after all the events of this morning, I don't think I can handle it again.I unlock my door and walk in to see that they are both sitting at the kitchen table tearing up a bit.Here we go.My mum practically jumps out of her seat and into my arms.
"I'm so sorry baby",she says rubbing and patting my back at the same time. I see my day just sitting there with his face down rubbing the back of his neck.He never knows how to express himself.Never has never will.
"I'm sorry to" I simply say back to her,which makes her cry even more.Great how am o supposed to hold back?if I cry anymore,I think I might kill myself in the process from so much energy being drained from my body.
"Lou called us up and told us what happened and I had to come over, I couldn't just not come",she said,her arms rapped around me tightly.
"Look thank you for coming by but I really think its best you go for now...".
"I understand", she says letting go of me and wiping her tears with a napkin from the table.
"Ok let's go Des",she says to my dad.
He gets up and gives me a sympathetic smile and pats me on the back.
"Take care son".
"Take care dad".
They both walk out the door and I let out breath I didn't realize I was holding. Gosh I t gives me anxiety when I'm around them.I love them very dearly but I just can't handle them at the time.I think for right now I just need to have some peace and just think.I remember Rose saying she hopes I can find someone that can give me the happiness of having a family but I don't think it's possible.Is it?No,no certainly not,never in a million years could I imagine myself with anyone besides Rose.I feel a slight bump in my pocket and i reach in and find the ring I was going to give to Rose.I smile slightly at the thought of her in a wedding dress and her hair all done up.She would have been the most beautiful bride ever.
YOU ARE READING
Forgotten Memories
FanficI loved Rose so much I would give my life for her,she consumed every part of my soul and all my thoughts were of her...but one thing changed everything and It would never be the same....
