AFFECTION

FORTY ONE

41

DAVID WELLINGTON

Her golden skin, that particular scent, something I avoided to prevent intoxication, that tangled mess of locks, resting on my pillow, it was a mesmerizing view overall. And i was fucking mesmerized. Women have been an easy to read subject for me- but never have i been caught too off guard to think twice before indulging into this.

As I placed a kiss on her collar bone, begging for my attention, i asked her, "Have you done this before?"

At my question, a cloud of uncertainty surrounded her, but nonetheless she nodded in a yes.

I felt the need to explain, "I am just asking so i know what limits i can push."

Her innocent eyes widened a little, giving fuel to my wicked ideas. But all that wickedness had an underlying protectiveness for her. If she was a virgin, I'd find myself highly inadequate and a worse man to engage with her, for her first time. If she wasn't, it puts us on an equal battlefield. Although, my level of treachery is beyond everything and I still feel she deserves the best, which is somehow not me.

For her pleasure and pain, it was all my responsibility, and though I may have a lot of drawbacks, her giving up before me speaks alot of her trust in me- the man she has loved without any expectations.

Among her sounds, mine, and our collective warm chaos, we found so much peace. In her arms, I truly felt home. And I tried my best to be her home too.

*

I was in my element, i could see. It's been about six months with her, and about seven to eight months of temporary celibacy (You call it celibacy for a man(whore) like me). But I wasn't careless, not for a second. I told myself, every passing second, that it was for her, not for me.

"If you feel any discomfort, just push me a little.", I told her and she nodded in urgency. But still, everytime I made a move, I checked for any signs of discomfort on her face. And, not to forget, I had to stay vigilant so I do not cause any harm to her heart.

She had held my face in her palms, and kisses it many times throughout the night, her adoration and love, spilling over. The look in her eyes, it put me at so much ease.

"You don't get to do that.", i pointed out.

"What?", her voice was considerably low, may be aware of the fact that we were insanely near.

"Look at me like that, and you are never leaving this bed.", I told her.

She blushed more if it was possible, muttered something under her breath and looked away. I only chuckled, and turned her face to look at me, memorizing each curve and corner.

*

The absence of warmth beside me, jolted me awake. I turned my head to my right to see her gone, and then check the time, on the clock to see it was about five in the morning.

Did she wake up that early?

I am sure i didn't leave her in the condition to go for gym. And the washroom was also shut and silent.

I sat up, the duvet falling off me, revealing I was in nothing but my boxers. Sighing, I looked for my trousers which were kept not too far from the bed.

When I got down the bed, I saw the remnants of the night on the floor. My shoes were thrown haphazardly, her heels probably lying somewhere in the dining room. My blazer and pants lying halfway on the table, and remaining on the floor. Accompanying the mess, was her oh-so-beloved lavender dress.

I wore my trousers and immediately went to pick up her dress. Dusting it off of any dirt, i gently kept it on the couch. I hope I've not torn it anywhere in the process of removing it. Hope will not spare me.