Being Loved by You usuk

Chapter One

"Why am I so bloody damn short!" Arthur thought as he attempted to reach the cabinet in which he kept his scones. "when Alfred was still living here he would reach them for me, now the damn git is gone. I guess I'm going to have to climb on the counter."

Soon enough Arthur had settled with a few scones on a plate with his Earl Grey tea,adding little bits of sugar here and there til it felt perfect enough for him.

"AGAIN?!" that stupid feeling had it crept up on him again? loneliness? yeah that's probably what it was, which meant it was time to fill that emptiness with the pain he'd been occupied with. He stood up a little shaky and began to walk almost falling up the stairs multiple times. Finally he made it to where he had stashed his "bad habit stuff" he sifted carelessly through the drawer hoping to get cut before finding his knife, sure enough he did but the sad thing was he watched it drip and roll off his finger.

"I should probably stop letting it bleed." he thought but just ignored it and continued. Arthur had just barely started cutting,so there were only a few stranded scars here and there. "This scar was going to be the biggest" he whispered to himself as he cut a long painful line across his wrist soon dropping the knife from the stinging pain that throbbed through his hand and arm as well as his cut.

Slowly he sunk to the floor next to his queen sized bed and sobbed quietly rocking himself back and forth until he went to clean up his blood. TV seemed to have nothing worth watching so a nap sounded kinda nice(especially since he hasn't slept for a week) "yeah I can just sleep a little it won't hurt." Arthur told himself as he drifted off to sleep. About an hour later he was woken by his phone buzzing on his table. he grumbled then answered it.

"Hello?" Arthur questioned in a sleepy tone.

"Hey! England how are you dude? are you sick or something, cuz you weren't at the meeting today."

"SHIT!" he whispered," that was today?"

" Yeah bro. are you sure you're okay?"

A long pause came from Arthur's end of the phone.

"Does he really care? no there's no way people never miss me I'm bland,boring,sarcastic and possibly bi, why would anyone ever care?" finally Alfred shouted loud enough to drag Arthur back to the planet he was actually on.

"HELLO!?!?"

"Huh? oh uh I'm fine. you don't need to worry I just forgot."

"Ok whatever you say, though it's kinda funny normally I'm the one who forgets. hahahahaha!"

"Yeah (nervousish laughter) hahaha."

"All right well I gotta go places to be people to see things to do ya know?"

" Yeah." Arthur agreed,"I just want to hear his voice a little longer even if it was for two minutes, two measly minutes I would be happy but he hung up. that's because he has a life" Arthur told himself. "what do you have?, Nothing...."

Those,no that one word had never been so convicting,until now. "should I just end it?, me? should I just end myself?, no my people are counting on me if I were to die every thing would go to chaos; but still the idea seemed awfully appealing.

*sigh* instead he stayed put and stared at his large cut on his wrist,then he glanced at his phone.

" I wonder if Alfred is done with what he needed to do?,nah I shouldn't bother him. but then again he might just be willing to have a little ity bity chat. oh who am I kidding, if I told him how I felt he'd probably be disgusted with me! and not to mention my scars he'd probably hate me for that. I guess this means I need to lock away my feeling but every time I see him, think about him or talk to him my thoughts get all confused and my stomach gets all tied up, ITS NOT FAIR!" Arthur yelled as he tossed a vase to the floor and grabbed the pieces and jabbed his hands with them til it was a bloody tear stained mess on his living room floor. He left the mess due to being exhausted, little did he know that Alfred was flying in for a surprise visit.

~*kawaii neko-chan*~