The second I walk through my front door the smell of alcohol and cigarettes hits me immediately. I hear some tv show faintly playing in the living room when I take my shoes off and walk over. Dad is already standing up walking towards me the second he sees me come in sight of the living room.
"Mackenzie fucking Warner," his revolting breath hitting me first before the realization of what he just called me. "Do you know what you've done?! You fucking ruined everything you whore!"
Quickly, before I can even process it, he has his hands gripping my shoulders, so hard to the point I could feel my circulation cutting off.
With everything happening so fast I don't know what to do, like my whole head just went blank the second I heard my sisters name.
"Dad! Stop please! It's me, Kiara. I'm not Mackenzie please dad please let go!" Desperation clinging to my voice as I look at mom, still sitting on the couch but with a look in her eyes, almost pity and regret before she looks straight at me. Then all I see is pure shame.
Dad's still yelling nonsense at me and successfully pinned me against the near wall. I kick and buck but everything's pointless against my dad, his 6'1 frame at a weight of 240 is impossible. "MOM! Please help me mom," I see her move an inch, almost thinking of getting up but something goes through her mind and she rests back into the couch. "Mom..." my voice cracks with tears falling down my face when she looks away from me and dad.
Dad finally stops yelling at me but has still not yet let go of me, instead he just stares at me with pure hate in his eyes, his chest puffing erratically. I can't control the sobs that spill from my mouth, fighting is useless, mom won't help, and I'm starting to feel lightheaded.
Finally, letting his grip slightly loosen I look at dad pleading, "please dad, it's me, I promise." His lip turns into a sneer when he spits out, "I hate you." Then he lets go. I don't stick around to hear anything else, instead I run upstairs as fast as I can and shut myself in my room.
Dad hasn't had a snap like that in almost a year now so it's not entirely new but it doesn't get easier. I lay on my bed, tears unwillingly falling from my eyes, body exhausted. Last thing I remember before passing out is the tears never stopping.
♡
I feel buzzing against my arm and sloppily search for the source of the distribution. Eventually, finding my phone I look at the screen and see Chris' name flashing across my screen. Quicker than I ever have before, I sit up and look at the time at the top left corner of the screen; 10:24.
Sliding my finger across the screen, I bring the phone to my ear, "hey Chris!" my voice high pitched and still slightly groggy makes me drag my hand through my slightly knotted hair and internally die a little bit. Chris' laugh floats through the phone, "hi Warner, I'm off of work now. Uhhh I was wondering if you wanted to facetime, I got some homework to work on you know?"
My stomach drops at the mention of facetiming each other but what can I say? No? "Um yeah sure just can I have 2 minutes?" Chris ends up saying yeah and I hang up quickly and jog to my bathroom to look in the mirror.
My hair a mess, I hurriedly brush through the knots and check to make sure I have nothing in my teeth. Some sleep did me good so my eye-bags aren't as harsh as they were this morning but my mascara was definitely messed up and smudged. Quickly, I take out a makeup wipe and clean the black smudges out from under my eyes. Unfortunately though I don't tend to feel that pretty without mascara or lashes so I apply a new layer over the old one and head back to my room and sit at my desk.
