The Secret Life Of A Cheerleader - My Diary Book 1( wattpadprize14)

Chapter 2

Hi so here is chapter 2.  I hope you all understood the first chapter.  Please tell me what you think.  Please enjoy coment and vote.

May 7 2012

Dear Diary, my only true friend.  I haven’t talked to you in a week and I know I have been avoiding you because I know you want an explanation for my last entry but I can’t tell you.  He would kill me if I told anyone and yes, he did something but a week has passed and I can’t let it affect me.  I need to go on with my life, show him that he can’t break me.  Please don’t be mad at me because I don’t want to tell you.  You will understand some day.

Cheerleading is now my priority once again and we have a homecoming game we need to prpare for.  Everyone is gearing up for that and the spirits is high.  We got our new uniforms today, everyone is going to look so good.  I am really excited.  We have been working really hard on our routine and everyone loves it.  Our moves and music is upbeat and fresh.  My squad says that I have changed and that it is a good thing.  I think it is because of what happened last Sunday, somehow it changed me.

I told you in April that I was in love, well he noticed me, he talked to me today.  Why now, now that I am cannot be with him anymore.  He wanted to know if I had a boyfriend and I lied.  I said that I do have one that doesn’t go to school with us and no one knew about him because it is still a new relationship.  If last Sunday didn’t happen I would have told him the truth.  I will never know now.

Carl has calmed down a bit.  He has turned into this perfect person.  He works hard in school and he is better than ever on the football field.  Even here at home he is the perfect son.  He joins us for dinner and he is polite and shocker he has manners.  I only see him when it is really neccasary and that is only at the dinner table.  I hate him. 

I have been thinking of moving to Dallas to live with my father and brother but I can’t leave my squad.  On Monday I didn’t care about anything and I was ready to go, all I had to do was pack but I know then my father would get suspicious and he wouldn’t leave it alone and I would have to tell him.  I am not exadurate when I say that he would kill the person involved.  So I am stuck here. 

So it is late and I have a test tomorrow that I have not prepared for, not that I didn’t want to but I just can’t concentrate. 

May 8 2012

So I totally failed my test today.  I have never failed before and I hate it.  I hate him, he did this to me.  I don’t know how to deal with this.  I can’t get it out of my mind, I want to forget it, but as soon as I sit down to study or lay down to sleep, all the memories of that day floods my mind and I just want to scream. 

Ross asked me out again and I had to say no, I told him to stop because I had a boyfriend.  I think he knows that I am lying.  I don’t want to hurt him and that is why I have to stay away.  I told him we can be friends but nothing more but I can’t spend time with him outside of school.  I won’t be able to not fall in love with him. 

Lisa is ignoring me again.  I think Logan has been talking about me again and she hates it when he talks about me while in her company.  She knows I would never hook up with him. 

So practice went really well today and I gave everyone the day off tomorrow.  We are good for Saturday but we will just go through it again Thursday and Friday.  We have a party after the game on Saturday.  So that is something to look forward to.

I had I nightmare last night.  I felt weak and useless and I hated feeling like that.  

I wonder if other families in our town have secrets, secrets that if someone found, would expose them and realize that they weren’t so perfect after all.  Do my friends have these kind of secrets that they hide from everyone else? 

I am a big girl and I need to get through this,  I Mary-Jane Shaw will not give up.  I will work hard and when school is over I will leave the perfect imperfect life I have here and go live somewhere no one knows me.

May 11 2012

Homecoming game is tomorrow.  I can hardly wait.  Everyone is ready and I just know that it is going to be perfect. 

Lisa is still not speaking to me and it is driving me nuts.  She is my best friend and Logan is definitely not my type.  I wish I could get that into her thick scull.  I would rather die than hook up with him. 

Ross and I have been hanging out the last few days during lunch.  He is a very nice guy.  I wouldn’t have minded to be his girlfriend.  I have never met a guy like him before.

Then there is the totally opposite Carl.  I don’t know what he is up to.  He is still acting like this perfect teenager and everyone know that no teenager is perfect.  My mom and stepdad doesn’t see this though.  “O M.J. you should be more like Carl, he is so responsible, he has changed for the better and he hasn’t failed a test.”  My mother said to me this morning.  I can’t believe she said that to my face. 

May 13 2012

I can’t believe I did it, I slept with Logan.  How could I be so stupid?  I lost my best friend too.  Her face, when she walked into his room at the party, it will haunt me forever.  I am so ashamed.