The Secret Life Of A Cheerleader - My Diary Book 1( wattpadprize14)

Chapter 5

Hi all.  So this is the final chapter.  I would like to thank all of you for reading, commenting and voting. 

August 31 2012

This has been the best week ever.  I am in love and for the first time ever I want to be with someone and not be afraid that his life could be in danger.  When I saw him on Monday, I thought he would not talk to me again after everything that happened between me and Logan and Zane and after I tried to kill myself.  He asked me to the movies and I said yes.  I was so nervous this afternoon but it was all for nothing.  He was the perfect gentleman.  I had so much fun.  He is coming over for lunch tomorrow to meet my family.  I know they will like him.

Carl is so different.  It is like his a new person but when he is with his friends at school he acts like the a## he was before the summer started.  Why would he be so different when he is not with them?  Why can’t he be the nice sweet guy all the time?  I like the guy he is when he is at home and not with his friends.  I guess peer pressure is a real issue with him. 

Mom is still mom and James, well he is just James.  They are going on a trip end of next month.  It would just be me and Carl here then.  I wonder how that is going to be.

Good night dear diary.  I will tell you about lunch tomorrow.

September 1 2012

I am so angry with Carl.  He totally ruined lunch.  Everything was going well until Ross took my hand and when he didn’t let go immediately, Carl shoved him away from me.  He shouted at Ross and punched him in the face.  He told Ross to keep his hands off of me.  He said that if Ross or anyone touched me again he would kill them.  I don’t know what got into Carl.  He has never shown the protective brother side before now.  Ross left and I have left him messages but he hasn’t returned any of my call or texts.  I don’t know what to make of this.  Why is Carl acting like this?  Does he know something about Ross that I don’t or is there another reason?

I just wish that you can tell me what you think. 

September 3 2012

Ross didn’t talk to me today even though I tried to talk to him and in the parking this afternoon I saw him and Kate going at it in the back of his car.  It was so steamy and if I didn’t know better I would have said that they actually had sex right there in front of everyone.  I hate him and I think Kate enjoy munching on my sloppy seconds.

Carl is still ignoring me.  On the one side I am angry as hell at him and on the other side I am grateful because Ross turned out to be a major a##.  I don’t know how to feel really, it is so confusing. 

September 21 2012 

Mom and James left for their trip.  I was sad to see them go.  They are doing the Greece trip that mother always wanted to do.  She always wanted to go but father said it is a waste of time and money.  I hope she enjoys it, she deserves to do something fun after what has been going on with me.  She is a good mother, I just think she doesn’t know how else to do it.  James is good to her and to me.  He is really protective and he brings out the best in mom.

September 28 2012

Why did he have to come back?  What did I do to deserve this?  It has been two nights, two nights of pain and fear and there is no one here to protect me, no one to check on me and keep the bad man away.  He  gave me five cuts the night before last and seven last night.  He is cutting my breasts now. 

Carl is a silent, he doesn’t talk to me.  I don’t even see him much and I think that if he was here at night he would know what is going on in my room, but as soon as it gets dark he disappears with his friends.

I am alone once again and I don’t want to turn off the lights.  I fear the darkness that would follow.  I fear the pain he would inflict on me.

September 30 2012

I have no words.  Last night was the worst.  I welcome death once again.  The pain is too much. 

October 2 2012

I am so confused right now I don’t know what to make of this.  Carl said something today after school and I am speechless.  I misread his protectiveness and the changes.  He told me he loves me and not like a brother loves a sister but like a man loves a woman.  I didn’t say anything.

I realize now that I have been in love with him all along.

The conclution coming soon.