Friend, please (joshler)

8.

I don't know why. why it has to be like this.
he said we would be best friends forever.
I guess that was a load of bullshit.
but I still care about him.
I would still stand up for him.
even if he's the one kicking me in the stomach.
even if he is the cause of my self hatred.
I should've known our friendship was too good to be true.
the fact that he made us friendship figurines.
I still have mine.
but I know he threw his away.
he threw it on the ground eighth in front of me.

oh.
I'm home now.

that was a shorter walk than usual.
I guess they choose a new spot to beat me up in.

"hey Ty."
I hear my mom say from the kitchen.

I just ignore her and go to my room.
it's funny really.
they say they care about me.
but they don't even notice my problems.
they don't check for cuts or bruises.
they don't notice when I'm sad.

they don't notice anything.

would they notice if I wasn't here.

this wouldn't be a problem if I didn't love him.

cause fuck I love him so much.

he hates me.

like everyone does.

I just wish I didn't love him.

I wish I hated him too.

-~|(side note)|~-
so someone asked for an update. so tada.
isn't it lovely?
wow you guys are really gonna hate me.
like really.