Friend, please (joshler)

9.

Josh's P.o.v

did I want it to be like this?
me picking on Tyler?
no.
but he just happened to be the kid that I had to bully to hang with my friends.

I don't hate him.

I just had to.

in fact.

I definitely don't hate him.

I love him.

maybe I can apologize.
fuck he wouldn't listen to me.
I fucking hurt him.
mentally.
physically.

he probably hates me.

I'd hate myself too.

I do hate myself.

he wouldn't care if I died.
my "friends" wouldn't.
my dad wouldn't.
Tiffany wouldn't.

and I deserve to die.

I'm just so mean to him.

he doesn't deserve this.

he's so cute.
and nice.
and funny.
and his voice.
when he talks.
when he sings.

makes me fall in love all over again.

but he hates me.

so what's it matter.

-~|(side note)|~-
so.
this is sort of how things are gonna be joshler later.

like yea.

I'm sorry.

I just feel so bad.
and I think I'm putting my feelings into the characters.

oh well.

-love, Megan.