Accidental Housemate

08: panicking

Work the following days was as bad as I expected it to be. I hated it when my pessimism became a reality. I should have stopped manifesting it.

Additionally, the head manager came to check out my photoshoot. That day, we were trying to shoot for another brand. Despite every worker being professional in this revealing industry, I still felt… more exposed in the eyes of some.

A personality coach guided my expressions and poses. She went as far as touching me to make the right moves, and despite the professionalism and extreme discretion, it still provoked triggering memories. How ironic of me to take such a job when I didn’t want to be touched. I kept telling myself it would be temporary until I figured out what I’d do in my life.

They asked me to smile and pretend I laughed sweetly in some shoots, so I would look spontaneous and confident—everything I wasn’t at that moment. I still tried my best, and with Photoshop and all, I hoped my discomfort wouldn’t seep through the photos.

“Isn’t she such a gem?” Hannah asked the manager, who cleared his throat and kept his distance from her as if she was infected with something.

I couldn’t help but cringe at the way they referred to me. I was just one fish in the sea, still unsure how they accepted me out of all the rest. My sixth sense told me to keep an eye on those two. His behaviour towards her raised questions I needed answered.

“Definitely, Hannah. You have good taste there.” The manager threw me an indifferent look, and I remembered how Hannah contributed to picking me. “Your photography skills are impeccable too,” he praised her.

“Ellen’s editing skills, too… All thanks to them.” She glanced at Ellen from the corners of her eyes, twirling a strand of her blonde hair around her index finger.

Ellen didn’t bother to react. In all honesty, with that attitude, it looked like Hannah was the manager and not anyone else. Her tone was daring and unapologetic. Authoritative.

The manager fixed his suit and gulped. “Right. Splendid work, everyone. Keep it up.”

After the photoshoot, I felt drained and impatient to go home. I stayed a little more to chat with Ellen about possible improvements for the photos.

“You have such a sweet smile,” she commented.

I smiled, appreciating her perspective. I felt my cheeks heat up. “That’s so nice of you, Ellen. Thank you.”

She patted my shoulder. “Giving credit where credit is due. You’re one of the prettiest I’ve edited for.”

After the chat with her, I went into the changing rooms to put on my original clothes. When I was about to take off the lingerie, the door opened. I shrieked and held it back to close it.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Perrie!” Hannah’s hoarse voice filled my ears. I didn’t even notice it was her because I squeezed my eyes shut once the door moved. How’d she know it was me there, though?

“Just… lemme change, Hannah,” I replied, already losing my breath in the extremely tight-fitting room.

I didn’t hear anything else except her footsteps getting further. Day by day, Hannah managed to make me hate my job despite the progress I had achieved so far. There would always be Hannah out there to oppose my comfort. A weirdo with wrinkled eyes and a dry face. I caught her smoking one day, so I justified her horrible skin with that.

I did not understand where she was going with her moves. Was she annoyed with my existence? Did she want my attention? Was I simply unlikeable? Did she want me to quit because she had a better model in mind? The competition was fierce, and I was aware the help of my ex-co-workers got me through. However, she picked me. Was I supposed to feel guilty? All I wanted was to make enough money for a living away from my toxic past.