Love, Lust & Liars || Ricky 'Horror' Olson

Chapter 7: The Scene Will Be The Death Of Us

Song for this chapter: Told Ya So - Get Scared

Sierra's POV

The boys all came in to the living room and sat down with us to watch movies. Ash made sure it was okay first, but I didn't mind because we'd had girl time and made up.

There wasn't enough seats for us all to sit down so Ash sat on Chris' lap and I sat on Jaz's because I wouldn't sit on anyone's but Ghost's and maybe Ricky's and it would make Ghost uncomfortable and get Ricky into trouble so my sarcastic best friend it is. Plus if I sat on Ricky I could be leading him on and if Jaz is right I don't want to until I figure myself out and maybe not even then.

I kept my eyes glued to the TV, every now and then glancing over at Ricky who would almost always be looking back, but would look away when I caught him. Everyone's joking about, but Ricky seems to be ignoring everyone and not wanting to speak. He seems almost annoyed. The thing with Balz can't have pissed him off; we're just friends.

"I'm going to get a drink," He mumbled.

I got up and followed him. "Are you alright?" I asked once I'd closed the kitchen door behind me.

"Fine," He mumbled.

"Obviously not Ricky," I exclaimed.

"It doesn't matter okay. Where are the drinks?"

"There's beer in the fridge," I said in a monotone.

"I don't drink," He mumbled.

"Why?" I asked, intrigued.

"I'll tell you another time," He promised. "Are you mad at me?" He asked nervously and turned his attention to his VANS.

"I'm not mad I'm frustrated and I'm confused," I said honestly.

"Why are you confused?" He asked, obviously knowing why I'm frustrated.

"You!" I exclaimed. "You confuse me. I don't know how I feel, I don't know how you feel, people are telling what I can and can't do, what I can and can't say, what I can and can't feel, but when do I get to decide? When is it my turn to say no I like them and I'm gonna date them or I don't like them I'm sorry. Why can't I make my own choices?" I cried out in frustration.

He walked up to me and placed his big, but still small hands on my cheeks and looked me deep in the eyes. "You can," He whispered.

I pulled away and looked at the floor. "I don't know," I murmured.

"Take your time, I don't want to rush you into deciding when I'm not all too sure myself," He chuckled.

"Thank you for being so understanding," I smiled and hugged him tightly.

"I'm always here for you and I don't want you forgetting that for a second okay?"

"Okay," I grinned. "Are you staying over?"

"The rest of the guys are so I may as well."

"Then I will gracefully share my couch with you," I smirked.

"That's very kind of you miss. Now do you have any non-alcoholic drinks?"

I nodded and went into the fridge. I pulled out a Pepsi can and handed it to him. He smiled gratefully, but as the cold metal came in contact with his skin, his face quickly turned to pure horror and pain. I giggled and he flipped me off, placing it on the side to let it heat up for a moment.

I poured myself out a glass of rum and poured a splash of his Pepsi into it. I downed it all in one and he looked at me impressed. "I can hold my drink," I shrugged and lead him back into the living room.

Everyone was still staring at the TV, probably not realising we even left, and I sat myself back down on Jaz's lap. She wrapped her arms around my waist and bit my side. "Ow!" I giggled and jumped up. "That was mean," I whined. She shrugged and put her attention back on the movie.

I don't really want to sit on her again in case she bites me again or something so I looked for anywhere to sit and saw that Ash and Chris were sprawled out on the floor, fast asleep, legs entwined, Ryan had leant his head on Jaz's shoulder and was falling asleep, she leant hers on his head and started to drift off too, Ghost was sat on the armchair and Balz was curled up in the corner, snoring. I giggled at this then saw that Ricky had a couch to himself. He saw me looking around and made room for me to lie down next to him. I smiled gratefully and lay down on the small couch. He wrapped a protective arm around my stomach to keep me from falling and pulled me closer into him and away from the edge where I could potentially fall on Chris.

I started to get sleepy and yawned loudly. He chuckled softly and I turned around so my head was in his warm chest. He pulled me closer and managed to entwine our legs somehow. I wrapped an arm around his waist to steady myself and he kissed the top of my head and whispered, "sweet dreams," before I slowly fell asleep.

--

I woke up to yelling and opened my eyes. I know it's not morning because it's dark and everyone else is sleeping through this. I decided to keep quiet and catch up on what's happening.

"Ricky I told you to stay away from her!" Ashley yelled.

"We're just friends!" He shouted back, exasperated as if he'd said it to many times before. "She needed somewhere to lie so I offered for her to lie with me and even if we were going out, which we are not, it wouldn't matter because she is an adult and can make her own decisions."

"Ricky you don't know her like I do. She's unstable. She can't make her own decisions because she always goes for the wrong ones. If you knew what she's been through, what people have done to her, you'll understand why. You have no idea who she is, you've known her a few days maximum. You won't like who she is," Ashley hissed.

"So what?" I asked, tears now streaming down my face as I sat up to look my, now guilty looking, sister in the eye. "I'm unlovable?"

"I didn't mean it like that Sie. You're damaged and he won't be the one to fix you."

"Well if he doesn't that's my own fault. I'm going to make my own decisions and you can't stop me and threatening my friends won't help in the slightest. As for my past, that's not for you to tell. I will tell Ricky when the time is right and then he can decide if he still wants to speak to me, but telling him he won't like me once he knows? I can't even fathom it. You're meant to be my sister, you're meant to support me in my best states and in my worst, through all of the illnesses, and sadnesses, anger, depression, love and heartbreak, you're meant to be there to support me! You won't be there if you can't even support me in being friends with someone." I spat.

"Sierra I-"

"Leave me alone Ashley." I shook my head and stormed upstairs. I slammed my door shut and collapsed on my bed in a fit of tears.

"Sierra let me in. Sie?" Ashley said, knocking on the door. I heard Chris tell her there's no point and she walked back downstairs.

I looked around my room and the saw the box. The box that held my most shameful secret. I'm never opening it again and this isn't worth it.

I looked at the picture of me and my parents, when I was right at a park, my dad had me on his shoulders and my mum was holding my hand, making sure I didn't fall off. I was laughing and I was genuinely happy. I don't remember the last time I've felt genuine happiness, but I definitely didn't after I last saw them.

I picked the frame up and hugged it to my chest, crying harder than before. Eventually I cried myself to sleep, hugging the closest thing I have to my parents to my chest. I can't go on much longer without them. I need them because at the moment I'm just a mistake.