If Only They Knew

Part 15- So Be it

So I came to the conclusion I'm the worse person in the world to my fans. At first I had the excuse I had school. Then I was like yay winter break should be able to write. And what did I do well nothing. Like I do become busy but I think I just became uninterested but today. I actually felt like writing. Haven't felt like that in awhile. So I do apologize to my fans, and if your still reading yay. I actually had to read my story over because I couldn't remember anything. Sad I know.

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"You know who is the cutest baby in the world?" Markly gave no response to my question. "You are silly," I coo and blow a raspberry on his belly. His laughter brings a giant smile to my face. I love this little monster. His teeth have finally stopped bothering him and that is a relief to me.

I haven't talked to Houston since that incident at the grocery store nor have I heard from him. It's been three days now and I think I need to call him, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

"What should I do Markly?" I stare at his baby face. "You're right I need to do it. If I don't I may regret it." If someone was watching me they would probably think I'm crazy.

I hear my front door open and close. Well since it wasn't a knock and the person just came strolling in it means one person.

"Hello," Abby comes into the living room and plops down on the ground next to me. "Aww there's my favorite man, the only one in my life who won't betray me." Markly, I think, enjoys the attention he receives from everyone.

"Um hey Abby," I eye her suspiciously. "Why are you here?"

"What can't a bestfriend just come and visit." She responds calmly, she hands Markly his small elephant stuffed animal. He holds it and stares at it and smiles. She finally turns towards me and sees my expression. "Seriously I'm just visiting."

"Oh," okay then I thought she wanted something.

"I was bored at home, so decided to be bored here. You got any food," she's hops up and goes to the kitchen.

Just like old times, Abby use to come over everyday in junior high and beginning of high school. I kind of miss it. I hear her opening drawers and hear dishes clanging together.

"Auntie Abby is never up to good," I tell Markly. He's like a diary I could tell him anything I want and he wouldn't tell a soul.

"So what do you want to do?" Abby comes back with a sandwich on a plate. It's a pretty big one I may add.

"I don't know, my mom is out." I shrug my shoulder.

"Movies?" She suggest. That's the only thing to do here. "Or paint nails, I don't know let's just do something." She really does sound bored.

"We can paint our nails first." I answer, I glance at my nails. Old purple nail polish is chipped off and only barely covering the nail.

"Yay, girl time." She sounds happy, we haven't had girl time in a long time. "We really should have more of these." It's like she read my mind.

"Yeah we definitely need more of them." I'm so glad my friends treats me normal now.

"Yeah I'm so glad I came over. I had no homework and was like I should come visit Alyssa." She announces, oh well I'm glad she came over.

"Well now you get to keep me and booger butt company." I rub Markly's belly and make a funny face, to make him smile.

"So," Abby come back with a bag of chips and a Gatorade. "Have you talked to Houston at all?"

"No," I sigh. I haven't talked to him since that incident. "I was hoping he would have texted by now." Sadness laces my voice. I can't help it he really did make me happy and I enjoyed talking to him.

"Oh I'm sure he will talk to you eventually." She reassures me, and pops open the bag. "I'm sure he is just confused." I glance at her with an unsure look, she gives me a shrug and eats a chip.

"It's all my fault." It really is maybe if I would have just came out and had told him the truth from the gecko. I almost want to cry. Why? I do not know I feel like I always mess things up and I just make things worse.

"Oh my goodness, it is not your fault." Abby looks directly at me. All seriousness in her face, maybe she is right.

"It's I should have told him right away." I exclaim, throwing my hands up. "Then I wouldn't have been holding this secret forever. And living on a lie." Why don't I just do the right thing? I hide my face in my hands.

"You've got to be kidding me. Just cause you have a kid does not change who you are." She opens the orange Gatorade and takes a swig. "I mean hello not the greatest conversation starter. Hey my name is Alyssa and I have a baby. How are you?" She mocks my voice, it sounded nothing like me.

"I do not sound like that." I laugh, Abby's face turns from her serious stare and joins in with my laughter. I really did miss hanging out with her.

"But no all seriousness Alyssa, he should accept with any baggage that comes along." I lean back against the couch and look down at my little baggage. Who is now chewing on his hand. "I mean it's not like you are secretly a man and you have ding dong." We burst out laughing. "He should be happy yours not a guy." Abby is buckled over and is dying of laughter.

This chick is one of a kind. "You're are right." I lightly chuckle, I made up my mind. "I will text him tonight saying I want to meet up after school." I pause for a second. "And I'll him everything."

"Good you should," Abby says proudly. Now I just got to get the guts to do it.

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We watched a couple movies and ate junk food. We did paint our nails, mine punk her's are purple. I tended to Markly's needs and put him down to bed. After a couple hours of more talking Abby leaves, and I am left with my thoughts bothering me.

"Alyssa you have to do it. You need to tell him." I talk to myself. So much easier to than to actually do it.

I clean up mine and Abby's mess. This really did help me talking to Abby. Relieving my stress, always good to have a friend to talk to about your problems. I place our plates in the sink, head to my room and plop on my bed..

I bury my face in my comforter. "Okay it is time." I pep talk myself. I pull out my phone. I'm not brave enough to speak on the phone but hopefully he will respond to my text message.

I open my phone and scroll to his name. Even just seeing his name brings butterflies to my stomach. I begin my text message. 'I want to talk to you tomorrow, can we meet at Sunrise Park?' My finger hovers over the send button. Okay you can do it. Just do it, I click the button. Oh my god I can't believe I just did that.

I wait patiently, he usually texts right away. I get up and change into pajamas quickly and then hop back into bed. I hope he texts back, I crawl under my comforter and bundle up.

After ten minutes, I still have no reply. Well I guess he doesn't want to talk. I have the worse feeling come over me. Maybe this is it. I lay back in bed, well you can't say I didn't try.

I see my phone light up and buzz. I jump so quickly to grab it, I nearly fall off my bed. Seeing Houston's name made my stomach clench. I open the message and all it says is okay. I really hate when I get those kind of messages. Especially just getting the letter K bugs me.

'Tomorrow at three.' I send I patiently wait for his message. Hopefully he doesn't make me wait ten minutes for a simple one word answer again. After a minute a get another texts saying exactly like his last text a simple okay.

Does this mean he doesn't really want to talk? Well, whatever, it doesn't matter. I am telling the truth and if he can't accept Markly, so be it. I place my phone on the end table I am done texting. I roll up in my comforter. I can't wait for tomorrow.

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There you guys go. I'm hoping I'm not forgetting anything. I am dreading writing SAGFN only because it's my longest book and I have to reread it cause I can't remember anything to save my life. I really suck lol. Any who, if you're still reading this thanks and I do apologize for sucking so much. And sorry if my writing isn't up to par, haven't written in like forever lol.