are you ALPHA serious

A.Y.A.S

the scowl fixed on his face frighteningly made my heart break ,

how could I do this , this is all my fault I cant do that to him , his to good for me , I don't deserve him , I don't deserve anything I have , am lying to everyone , am a hunter with secrets ,painful secrets , I have hurt drake in many possible ways ,

I tried to tell him but then ... my selfishness , my needs  came before his ,  he trusts m- he trusted me , but he shouldn't , am a monster , I don't deserve him

I NEVER DID 

tears fell out of my eyes watching drake look at me with so much hate ,so much pain , so much disgust

'SHAYERA  I CANT DO THIS ' I said

'sort this out now , I wont repeat myself ' she scolded

I took a deep breath and looked at drake once more

'NO I CANT DO THIS '

'girl am warning you , FIX THIS NOW '

'NOPE not today'

"well" drake said sounding bored and frustrated

"I erm..." I started but couldn't finish as my eyes started to swell

I can't to this shayera

'you wouldn't have to do this if it wasn't for that stupid mouth of yours '

I looked at him trying to build up the courage to talk to tell him I need him , to tell him I want him , to tell him I love him

'Shayera '

'Mhm mhm hunny boo I ain't getting you out of this shit '

What do I say , what do I do , what can do to show him I love him

I am slowly deteriorating without him ,

I stood there looking at him feeling fat warm tears roll slowly down my face

his scowl deepened "well" he said sounding frustrated and bored

I looked into his eyes but all I saw was a black wall , eyes with no expression and a face full of hate

Why am doing this to him , he doesn't deserve this ,

He cares for me , he's there for me, he trusts m-...he trusted me

Now I feel incomplete without him , why do I feel like this

I've lied to him for all my life . my life IS a lie , pretending to be who I'm not

Acting like I belong when really I don't . in the hunting world or the wolf world

If I was to be supernatural , I think I should be a skyfer , full of shit night walkers , they are trifling manipulative monsters

"sorry for wasting your time , " I said walking away

'what are you doing ' shayera asked me

' I cant do this to him '

Do what ?'

' am a hunter for fuck sake , I hunt people like him

'you mean people like us '

That shut me up

'don't bother with anything I'm done '

' what do you mean....? shayera what do you mean?' I said slightly panicked

'I'm going dormant '

'sharera don't '

Shayera

SHAYERA

SHAYERA

No I fell to my knees half way through the pack house

Felling weaker than I DID BEFORE

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

When I got home I lingered by the front door praying my mum would not notice me

Well if she asks I cant exactly be like I lost my mate, to a high hunter

I took a long deep breath and put on a brave face , rushing to my room

When my hand reaches my bedroom door , I hear my mums voice

"hey baby , you okay ?'

"yh mum am fine " I said pushing the door and locking it behind me

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

" baby wake up " mum said shaking my shoulder

"mum I locked the door for a reason-how did you get in here anyway ?"

"basic training honey , hope you haven't forgotten yours "

No mum I haven't just a little tired that's it "

" okay I have noticed that you have been in a mood , so I figured we could go hunting , it always cheers you up" yhh that was before I found out my soul mate could be a potential target

"see this Is why I love you mom , you know just the right thing to do " I faked happiness "where is the hunt ?"

"just a few towns , we found a pack house , and their alpha is your age " mum squealed, why she loves hunting so much , I don't know

"how exiting " I gushed hating every moment knowing this could be drake's pack

Mum got up with my laundry basket , she turned and looked at me

"by the way , this one is only a stake out " she said smiling proudly

Just great ,fucking great