Building Trust Through Our Issues

Chapter Seventeen

Armoni, Alayshia, Andrea, and Brandy 👆👆

"Mookie, get it together baby. You have to be strong for your kids and Yolanda. He's going to be okay." Mama whispered as she rubbed my back.

Everybody was telling me the same thing but I just could not get myself together. Chris' surgery was originally supposed to last four to six hours and he's been in surgery now, for eight and a half hours.

All types of doubts were running through my mind. Was he dead and they didn't know how to come tell us? Did they find another tumor? Could they not get him stabilized? Was it cancerous and they were just now finding out?

"I've tried everything, I can't calm her down. She's hysterical." I heard my mom say to someone.

"Mookie." I heard my Dad say as he pulled me into his lap. I didn't respond to him, I just buried my face in his chest. I cried in his chest until I couldn't cry anymore, he didn't say anything. He just rubbed my back and allowed me to cry. Shortly after I stopped crying, I fell asleep.

"Mookie, the doctor is here." My dad said as he shook me awake. I lifted my head from his chest and squinted my eyes. I had the most banging headache and my throat was as dry as the Sahara.

"Immediate family of Christopher Lamont Hawkins." Dr. Rhodes said coming into the waiting room. I got out of Daddy's lap and grabbed Ms. Yolanda's hand. We walked over to where he was looking through his notes.

"Let's have a seat." He said gesturing to the seats. We both sat down on the couch and Dr. Rhodes sighed. "I'm sorry but we did all we could. Mr. Hawkins passed away about half an hour ago. My condolences."

I felt myself slide out of my seat and onto the ground. I let out an ear piercing scream as I felt someone wrap their arms around me. Uncontrollable sobs left my mouth as my body shook violently.

I screamed, fought, and cried until one of the nurses came and tried to sedate me. As soon as the needle pierced my skin, my body jolted.

I dang near jumped out of my fathers lap as I woke up from that dream. My heart was beating fast, I was breathing heavy, and I was drenched in sweat.

"You okay? What's wrong baby?" He asked, brushing my hair out of my face.  I looked at him and opened my mouth to answer but I couldn't bring myself to say what I just dreamed.

"It was just a bad dream. It was a dream. I'm fine, I'm okay. He's okay. " I sniffled. I think I was trying to convince myself more than I was trying to convince my daddy.

He pulled me into his chest and rocked me as I cried, until I was able to calm down. That dream just seemed too real.

"Go back to sleep, Mookie. I'll wake you up when we hear some news." He told me before kissing my forehead. I shook my head, I didn't want to go back to sleep, that dream has me shaken up.

"No, I'll stay awake." I told him as I sat up in his lap. "How are the kids? Where are they?" I asked as I stood up and stretched my body.

"They're with Jerome. He picked them up from school, they're fine." He informed me making me frown. I looked at the Michael Kors watch on my wrist and sighed. Chris had been in surgery for ten hours. Double the time that they had originally planned.

"You can go home Daddy, I know you have work in the morning." I told him as I sighed again. He'd been here at the hospital since six this morning and I knew that he had to be tired. "I'll just call you when we hear something." He gave me a look but didn't reply. "Daddy, go home." I sighed.