A.K.A Miss Bitterness (Ako na ang Single)

Part Time Love Guru I

Five days to go at haggard na haggard na sya sa buhay nya. Gusto nya nang mag graduate para magbayad ng napaka taas na tax or to start working and hate whoever Boss she might have in the future. Anything! Wag lang syang ma stock sa bahay nila at maeexpire ang ganda nya.

She was looking forward that Brian will come knocking at her door. But instead iba ang dumating and hindi sya kumatok. Basta nalang sya pumasok. So I've heard.

'Ma'am ma'am maaaa'aaaaaaaam!!' Tumatakbong sigaw ni Donna akala mo bumisita ang mga minions sa bahay. Muntikan pa sya mag dive sa cereal kung naghihikahos sa gatas kasi nakalimutan na naman nila mag groceries.

'Ano!? Dedede ka?' Pagalit kong tanong. Wala ako sa mood sa umaga.

'Ma'am may bisita ka. Artista!'

Lahat naman ng gwapo at maganda kay Donna artista. So I tried to wack my brain who amongst my friends. Wala syang maisip. Naka rest day ang utak nya, after ng ilang years na pag aaral.

'Sabihin mo mag hintay ng mga 10 years, kakain lang ako choooo choooo.' I said with my mouth full. Dali dali naman nakichismis si Aleng Monina. Hay naku. Mga tao nga naman. Very interested sa mga bagay bagay na di naman dapat.

She finished her bowl, her second bowl and third bowl. Beast mode. She was blessed by very good metabolism. So eh ano naman kung di sya maganda katulad ng sinasabi ni Winnie Ocampo. At least di sya nag woworry na maging baby whale.

'Yaya!' they didn't answer. Weird. 'Yohoooo' she added. Wala talaga. Damn!! Baka nag papasok na yun ng kung sino. Potik baka mamaya gwapong magnanakaw. Damn. Malanding yaya problems. She started her way out of the kitchen. Di pa man sya nakaka labas she heard screaming. Fuck. So she went back in and get herself a frying pan. Bale dalawang pelikula na ang napanood nyang gumagamit ng frying pan at naka pag survive it's worth a try.

She was expecting a group of gorgeous handsome robbers and her Yayas tied in one corner asking for more, but she found herself in front of hilariously pretty woman. Wow!

'Señorita! Dali dali. Papicture tayu!!' Insert scream na parang nanalo sa lotto. She looked like batang pulubi standing in front of her with her loose pajama pants loose hair at loose t-shirts. She was Eva Mendez anyway a top earning actress who's movie earned like 22 million on it's first day last month. Tapos mag pipicture sila tapos naka pantulog sya!!!!? Teka, what the hell is she doing here anyway? She started to talk.

'I never expect such a warm welcome' she said looking at my frying pan.

'Then you might have entered a wrong home Miss Eva. Might as well drop to your Opthalmologist after too ' I said flatly.

'Hahaha... Roger is right. You are a bitch, I like you. But I didn't come here to play. I come here because I need your help. But I didn't expect you to be this young. I'm not really certain if your any good. You don't even have a license for crying outloud'

This is the part that she hates the most. The part where people doubt that she can help them. Wala syang degree in Psychiatry but she's not a fraud either. I mean, she cannot promise she can solve their problems but she can shed a light.

'The door is wide open, you can come and go as you wish. Have a great day Miss' she started to head back to the kitchen. Feel nyang kumain ng manga bigla.

'No no no please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I badly need you' she said. She can see that she is sincere. Pero ewan ko. Artista nga eh.

'Wait for me sa study Miss. Yaya pakisamahan na lang. I'll be there in a bit' she finally decided to give her A for effort. She come her anyway despite of herself. Pero gusto ko parin talaga ng manga kaya maghintay sya.

Once in the kitchen dali dali sya pinag luto ng bagoong ni Aleng Monina. Habang kumakain she asks aleng Monina what she thinks.

'Tingin mo ya? Ano problema ni ateng?' I ask.

'Baka sa showbiz. Baka may kaaway.' She answered like she was certain.

'Di ipabarang na lang sana nya. Bakit sa akin pa sya nag punta?' I wondered.

'Itong batang. Ubusin mo na yan at puntahan mo na yun. Ilang beses ba kitang sasabihan na masamang mag pa hintay ng tao. Mag toothbrush ka na din.' She said.

'Dapat sabihin mo din yan kay Mr. Right ko yaya! An tagal tagal ko ng nag aantay sa kanya. Walangya sya!' I jokingly snap and stormed out of the kitchen to my room.

She gargled around 5x just to make sure na di na sya amoy bagoong. She also change to her new pair of tee and pajamas.

She entered the room silently. Miss Eva is studying the pictures on her wall, her back facing the door so di nya ako napansing pumasok.

'It was my mom and dad. The little girl is me' I said and I must have startle her because she jumped.

'I'm sorry I can't help myself staring at the potraits. I didn't see like those on the living room.' She said.

'They are separated.' I answered, with no emotions whatsoever. Naubos na. 'Keeping it her in my study is the only way to prevent mother from burning them.' I added.

'Do you get to see your dad?' she asked again.

'Teka. Nag punta ka ba dito para interviewhin ako o ano?' she shut up. Yan!

'Tell me Miss, why are you here? Like you told me I'm just a kid. I'm not sure I can help you.' I drop the bomb. It's true. I cannot make all the troubles away.

'Before we start. Please stop calling me Miss cause I'm not. I'm not fucking innocent like anyone thinks of me' she drop a bomb too. Miss Eva was an actress and the whole world knows she was innocent, godess and single kaya madami syang ka love team. And while the whole world thinks that she is the most suitable bachellorette, here she is confessing that she is not.