Our Recovery|Away at War

Chapter 16- Darkness

I stood there, staring at him as my body trembled uncontrollably. ''Y-you're dead.''' I stuttered. ''W-why, y-you're dead!'' I screamed at him.

''Wills,'' He sighed, walking over to me.

''Don't touch me.'' I flinched, ''Get away! Go on! Go!'' I yelled, tears pouring down my face, as my body continued to shake. ''Finn you're dead, you left me! You left m-'' I screamed, backing away and clutching onto a chair to stable myself as the tears flew down my face, and my heart ached painfully.

Millie started to wail at all the shouting and screaming, confused as to what was going on, making her unsettled. ''Shh, it's alright, calm down, shh mummy's just a little shocked.'' Michael hushed, bouncing her gently on his hip. ''Shh Mills, it's alright sweetie.''

''Michael, take her out of the room.'' I demanded, ''Please, I don't want her near him.'' I sobbed, wiping away the tears with the back of my hand, trying not to smudge my make-up too dramatically.

''Willow, he's her-''

''Get her out!'' I screamed.

''You know she can't be left alone.'' He sighed, ''and I'm not leaving you in this state. Look she's fine now, aren't you gorgeous?'' Millie reeled off a string of nonsense, babbling away, as I just stared at him.

He was wearing a simple white t-shirt, which clung to his body, showing off his still defined muscles, and a pair of khaki green shorts. His eyes looked lost and tired, the stubble on his chin prickly and rough, and his hair was tousled into a quiff, its odd lengths poking out in all directions. The one thing however, which had stayed the same were the greenness of his eyes, which I still couldn't bring myself to look directly in- that was just too much.

His arms and legs were covered in scars from, presumably, the burns when his aircraft set alight. All I wanted to do was run into his arms, and feel his warmth and love again, promising things would be alright, but I couldn't. My heart ached more than when I thought he was gone forever, and seeing him here, alive, was emotionally traumatising. My body continued to shake at the sight of him, as he slowly came closer. ''Wills.'' He sighed again, staring at me, his eyes sad.

''You were alive all this time Finn, and you left me here- thinking you were dead for God's sake!'' I shouted. ''You were dead! You have no idea how that felt knowing I'd lost you!'' I shouted, bursting into a fresh flow of tears once more.

''You know I never meant to hurt you Wills.''

''Then why didn't you tell me you were alive for God's sake? Do you not understand how much pain I felt? Do you not understand how many times I nearly lost my baby, or how many times I'd stay upstairs locked up in the bedroom. I was depressed Finn! And you could have sorted that! But no! You decided to wait a year to come home!'' I screamed at him, trembling from the anger, and sadness I felt.

''Willow, just hear me out.'' He said, glancing over at Millie and Michael. When he looked at them, I saw the look in his eyes- sadness, despair. He thought Millie was Michael's, but right now I didn't even want to correct him. ''I love you so much a-''

''No. Don't say that to me, if you loved me, you would never have left.'' I snapped, wiping my face dry, and scowling at him.

''That's why I did. Everyone thought I was dead, and I told you that I'd want you to carry on living your life, and- and have the family you always wanted.'' He sighed, looking at Millie. ''I wanted to come back, but I just didn't want to disturb you in case you really were happy, and moving on.''

''Well, here's a surprise for you! I'm not happy, you died Finn, and when you did so did I.'' I whispered. ''You don't understand how lost, and alone I felt, how many nights I'd awake wishing you were there to make everything better.''