Our Recovery|Away at War

BONUS CHAPTER

''Mummy is daddy alright?'' Ivy asked, tugging on the hem of my dress and peering around at Finn. She looked up at me, with only the dearest concern in her eyes, her head tilted- such an innocent little child.

''Daddy's fine darling,'' I said, just as the yells erupt from Finn's mouth as he squeezed his eyes shut, making Ivy hide behind my leg. ''Why don't you go find Millie and Blake darling, they'll be in the next carriage watching television I suppose,'' I told her, as I crouched down besides her, placing a kiss on her forehead. She looked between the train door and Finn multiple times, worry etched on her four year old face.

''Will you make daddy better? I don't like it when he's scared,'' she lisped, biting down on her lip.

''You know I will Ivy dear, but I need you to let me do this alone alright?'' She nodded her head, before taking one last glance at Finn and running down the cart to find her brother and sister, her chestnut curls bouncing up and down as she runs through to the next carriage. I walk over to where Finn is crouched by the corner, his hands clamped over his ears and eyes squeezed shut. He hasn't had one of his episodes in at least ten months- that was until today.

We were all on our way down to my parent's house, where the whole family had gathered for New Year's. ''Finn,'' I whispered. ''Finn, we're out now, it's alright- you can open your eyes,'' I hushed, wrapping an arm around his as his body shook violently. As we travelled, the train had some difficulties, resulting in it being stuck in a tunnel for half an hour, the darkness outside must have triggered something in Finn's mind, and he broke down- if he wasn't aware of where he was, he could break in an instant.

''N-need light,'' he murmured. ''Oil spill, it's happening again, I'll crash- I'll kill us all,'' he muttered, every inch of his body trembling.

''No, it was just a tunnel Finn, remember where you are,'' I said, clasping my hand in his and pulling it to my lips.

''I can't lose anybody else Willow,'' he said, raising his voice towards the end as the tears spilt down his face. ''Thomas dying was my fault, can't let you die today, can't let our children die.'' He wasn't yelling and screaming as he normally was, in fact he seemed to just be in a daze, letting out all of his emotions and fears.

''It wasn't your fault, open your eyes, everything's ok. I promise Finn, we're all alright, please baby.''

Behind me, I heard the sound of the train door slide open and the patter of feet coming up to us. ''Daddy?'' Ivy whispered gently.

''Daddy?'' Blake asked, walking slowly over to him, so much care they all took around him. Millie followed her younger siblings as they all crouched beside their dad as I was, wrapping their tiny arms around his body. 

''Don't be afraid,'' Millie whispered, the terror clear in her voice that her father wouldn't return back to them. It pained me that she was only five, yet understood to a certain extent that Finn needed the comfort he did.

''Daddy it's alright, we're here,'' Ivy lisped. ''Aren't we Blake?''

''That's right, we are. Mummy why won't he come back?'' He asked me, looking up at me with an expression far too pained for a four year old.

''I don't know baby, why don't you all try talking to him alright? Let him know we're all here,'' I smiled softly at them all, as they all whispered things to Finn, just like we hushed them whenever they have a nightmare. They must have all gotten their kind hearts from Finn, because even in the darkest times he was able to see the light- that's all he had to do now.

Suddenly, his eyes shot open, revealing his gorgeous emerald orbs, which were drained from the panic he felt and replaced with relief. He immediately grabbed all three of our children, pulling them close and peppering them with kisses making them squeal. ''Daddy,'' they all giggled.