What is this, Book Five?

*nervous laughter*

Golly gee, I'm touched when people come to me for advice. I try my best, really, I do-

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.

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but the romance department is where I just stare blankly off into the sunset and heave a huge sigh from my small chest

gee, lately a handful of people have been coming to ME of all humans (most on Vent...); and I'm just like..

"Okay, I'll be your wingman from the shadows/interweb. bUT I HAVE ZERO EXPERIENCE. APOLOGIES FOR ADVICE FROM A LOGICALIST POV. SERIOUSLY-"