I hate my life. I hate my mind. I want to die,
I want to feel the life drain from me, for my body to go limp. To go cold without my warming heartbeat to heat my unflowing blood. Watching the color drain from my already pale skin and be given new color... My escaping blood. My blood too wishes to escape this cage of sorrow, hatred and depression.My mind is my cage, I thought it was keeping the bad away, but it was keeping me, the monster, inside. My mind, my mental prison. LET ME OUT!!! I ache for someone to understand my deep hunger for numbness, for relief from this pain. It hurts too much to bear. I am ready to be with fate, with oblivion. I need release, maybe that release is through letting my soul free...into whatever comes next. Maybe whatever comes next in worse than this life, but maybe not. I am willing to take that chance, that uncertain risk. I wonder if anyone will miss me, really miss me. I don't think so.... On the bright side my parents don't have to pay for my sweet 16.
