Almost blind | Haobin

69| What parents fear |69

“That’s… really ridiculous,” Kuanjui said, dragging out the word with exaggerated disbelief as he leaned back against the bench. His eyes rolled toward the sky, then snapped back to Hao with a mixture of amusement and shock. “Your parents seriously did that? Like… actually separated you into different rooms? Are we in middle school again?”

“I’m dead serious,” Hao muttered, running his hand through his hair in frustration. The motion was sharp at first..then slowed down as though even his fingers were tired of the constant stress. They were sitting on the edge of the schoolyard, the late spring air heavy with the smell of cut grass and warm asphalt. Classes were basically over for the year..just a handful of days until summer break..so the atmosphere felt loose. But Hao carried none of that ease on his shoulders.

He exhaled hard, his eyes narrowing at nothing in particular. “I dont even know what we’re supposed to do anymore.”

Kuanjui’s brows shot up, incredulous. “Wait..so you guys are seriously not talking to each other? Just because of them?”

“We… are talking,” Hao admitted reluctantly, pressing his lips together. His voice dropped, like even saying it too loudly might get him caught. “But it’s not the same. We cant talk openly. Every word feels like it’s being measured, like someone’s listening through the walls. And if we do try, it’s trouble.” He shook his head slowly, his hair falling into his eyes again. “I don’t even know what they expect to happen between us. That we just stop talking? Stop… caring? And then what? We’re strangers? That’s insane.”

Kuanjui let out a low whistle, then tilted his head. “So basically, every time you try, they just start yelling?”

“Both of them,” Hao confirmed bitterly. “Like shouting is going to fix anything.” His voice cracked with frustration. “It’s like we can’t say anything that makes sense to them. Nothing we say even reaches.”

“Aw, girl,” Kuanjui sighed dramatically, placing a hand on Hao’s shoulder in mock sympathy. His grin was crooked, half teasing, half serious. “So what you’re saying is… no sex at all as well?”

“Jui!” Hao elbowed him hard, his cheeks flushing crimson as he turned away. “It’s not...! God, it’s not about that.” His voice stumbled. He stuttered, he was caught between embarrassment and honesty. “I mean—yeah, well… not exactly. We still see each other. At night. When everyone’s asleep.”

“Ohhh,” Kuanjui dragged the word out, smirking.

“But that’s not the point!” Hao blurted, his hands flying up in frustration. “Its the little things, Jui. We can’t sit in the living room together, can’t watch TV without feeling like we’re being watched, can’t even exist side by side without someone storming in. And it’s stupid because those small things—” His voice broke. “Those small things matter to me. Just… sitting there, peacefully. Breathing the same space. It’s not even about anything physical. It’s just… I finally felt good for once. Balanced. And now it’s like they’ve ripped it all apart.”

His shoulders sagged, his voice sinking with him. “It makes the days feel so much heavier. Harder. Like I’m dragging chains around. I thought I was past the worst but… now I dont even know. I feel worse than before actually.”

For a moment there was silence stretched between them. The schoolyard noise seemed far away, like they were sitting in a bubble where only Hao’s pain existed.

Kuanjui’s teasing grin softened immediately. He nudged Hao lightly with his knee. “Hey. You’re allowed to want the simple things, you know? Wanting peace with him, wanting comfort..or whatever..” He tilted his head, trying to catch Hao’s eyes. “They can slam doors all they want but they can’t control what’s already inside you. Or what’s between you two.”