Almost blind | Haobin

18| lord of chaos |18

It was almost impossible to recover from what had happened. Gyuvin was drowning in the weight of his own actions, the guilt gnawing at his core like a relentless storm. The image of Matthew's tear-streaked face haunted him, a reminder that he was the cause of his husband's sorrow and his son's disappointment. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't shake the crushing sense of shame that had taken root in his chest.

That day unraveled everything.

Gyuvin hadn't planned to tell Matthew the truth. He didn't know if he'd have the courage to confess what had been simmering between him and Ricky. But whenever he looked at Ricky-the enigmatic man who had stolen his heart-he felt something indescribable bloom in his chest, a strange, bittersweet ache that refused to let him go. Ricky had a gravity about him, one that pulled Gyuvin in despite every reason to resist.

When Ricky wasn't around, Gyuvin felt an unbearable emptiness, as if his world had been dimmed. He couldn't understand how these feelings had crept up on him, but Ricky made him feel alive, whole in a way he hadn't realized was missing. It was like finding a missing piece to a puzzle he didn't know was incomplete. The love he felt for Ricky was vast, otherworldly-a universe that made his familiar life with Matthew feel like a pale shadow.

And so, driven by the weight of his emotions, Gyuvin told Matthew the truth.

He had braced himself for Matthew's reaction, but no amount of preparation could have softened the blow. The pain in Matthew's eyes was unbearable. Gyuvin could see his husband's world cracking, splitting into jagged pieces, right before his eyes.

"You're... the most amazing man I've ever met," Gyuvin had said softly, his voice trembling. "You didn't do anything wrong. I've never regretted a single moment of our marriage. It gave me our son. It gave me memories I'll cherish until the day I die."

Matthew's lips quivered as the first tear slipped free, trailing down his cheek like a wound that couldn't heal. "I understand," he managed to choke out, though his words came in broken sobs. His smile, forced and fragile, was like glass about to shatter. "I'm glad you told me."

Gyuvin's heart felt like it was being ripped apart. He didn't know if he should reach out, if Matthew would even want his touch. His hand hovered hesitantly before he pulled it away, but Matthew caught it, clutching it tightly in his own trembling hands.

"You can't control who you love," Matthew whispered, his voice raw with pain.

"But.."

"It hurts," he continued, his words punctuated by quiet gasps for breath. "I didn't expect this. I thought... we were happy. What... what am I supposed to do without you?"

Those words hit Gyuvin like a physical blow, a brutal punch to his chest that left him breathless. The man he had loved, the man who had taught him how to open his heart, was now asking how he was supposed to go on without him. Gyuvin's guilt twisted deeper, a blade he could never remove.

"Matthew, I..." His voice broke, and he bit his lip so hard it almost bled. "I'm so sorry."

Matthew shook his head, silent tears falling freely now. His grip on Gyuvin's hand didn't falter. "Don't apologize. Just... go."

The words lingered in the air, heavy and final. Gyuvin left the house that day with a suitcase in hand and an ache in his soul that no amount of time could ever heal.

When he arrived at Ricky's doorstep, the last thing Ricky expected was to see Gyuvin standing there, disheveled and broken, with nothing but his luggage and the weight of his confession.

Ricky's first instinct was to yell, to question why Gyuvin would throw his family away for..him.. but when their eyes met, his anger faltered. Gyuvin's expression was raw, vulnerable-a man stripped bare of all pretenses. He explained everything, his voice shaking as he relived the confrontation with Matthew.