Never Grow Up | a Taylor Swift adoption story

*+* Exhaustion *+*

Tw - same as last time

Ali's pov :

The past few days went by way too slow,yet at the same time the hours seemed to pass by surprisingly fast whenever I was with my sister, although for the first time in years she'd been away from me far too much as it was her turn to have a few days with Taylor.

Luckily,they'd gone shopping for a few clothes and toys she showed an interest in,apparently Taylor said she would do the same with me whenever it's my turn with her alone,which may be the end of this week or some point next week. She also wants to take us both on a shopping spree together on the first day we both have with her but I'm not too sure how to feel about any of this if I'm honest.

Although I'm happy with the fact my biggest idol is literally adopting me it hasn't changed my mindset at all as I hoped it would,the endless bullying hasn't changed one bit,my arms are still filled with markings,a constant reminder of the little control I have over myself and how utterly pathetic I truly can be.

I mean don't get me wrong,I'm so insanely grateful for this opportunity but it doesn't feel like I deserve it one little bit.

And lately,I've been thinking that it could very well be better for my sister and even Taylor if I wasn't here to disturb them,I'd be allowing them to have the perfect family,The superstar her footballer boyfriend and their young daughter.

I've also found myself going on longer and longer walks,sometimes wondering how much further would I have to go to become completely lost to the point where I'd either be forced to kill myself or starve to death.

Those thoughts 'luckily' haven't gone anywhere yet however in the back of my mind the thought constantly lingers.

I haven't even been to school in a week,I think between my thoughts and everything that's all just suddenly happening right now it would just be too much to handle.

My sister walks into the room,her smile practically emitting rays of light with how joyful she clearly is,she's so beautiful when she smiles.

'Heya sissy!' She says,plopping down onto the end of my bed,her new clean unicorn pyjamas that are slightly too big for her look out of place with her messy ponytail,she'd obviously gotten uncomfortable with her hair being down after she'd finished her day with Taylor and attempted to fix it herself instead of coming to me.

'Hey baby!Wanna do something fun?' I replied while she snuggled into the side of me,her small hands finding their way to my hair so that she could play with it.

'Read me a bedtime story?' She asked,her voice sounding suddenly tired.

'Of course I will,but first let's go to the bathroom so you can brush your teeth while I braid your hair okay baby?'

She shook her head looking up at me with her eyes wide,I can't say no to her when she's like this so I gave in allowing her to miss out on brushing her teeth for one night,with the promise she'd brush them for longer in the morning.

I walked her over to her bed and allowed her to snuggle up with the new jellycat she had been bought before beginning to read her favourite story 'The tiger who came to tea'.

Not long into the story she drifted off,clearly exhausted from her exciting week and honestly I couldn't blame her,it was also 9pm which is very late for a six year old.

Although still in joggers and a hoodie,not long after I fell asleep curled in a ball on my bed. I'm not sure whether it was the under eating or just overall exhaustion but it was far too easy than usual for me to fall asleep.

Okay so this is short but I actually have a good idea for the next chapter already so I may start that now or soon but trust she goes out with Taylor in it 😛😛