Never Grow Up | a Taylor Swift adoption story

*+* more mental illness *+*

Bold text = Taylor speaking (I'm too lazy to think of how to say they spoke so)
Italics = emphasising a word / whoever it's in perspective of thoughts

Tw

Allison's pov :

At around 8:03am the sound of Jack's shouting woke me up,I really didn't want to get up but if I didn't there would be no chance of my sister getting up too as she wouldn't be going out today so,just for her,I got out of bed.However,I was surprised to find she wasn't in her bed and she was infact sat in the common room with Taylor who was apparently waiting for me to get dressed to go out shopping with her.

As I wasn't expecting this I quickly threw together an outfit,finding some old jeans that I'd left somewhere on my floor and grabbing a clean hoodie and shirt for underneath.I quickly applied some concealer blush and mascara. to appear less dead before rushing down the stairs to greet her.

'Uh,hey!Im really sorry I took so long I overslept!' I hurriedly spoke,slightly tripping up on my words

'Don't be sorry,your sister is great company anyways!Have you ate yet or are you ready to go?' She replied,her voice filled with what sounded like a genuine kindness.

'Yeah I've ate,we can go!'I quickly lied,it coming natural to me after many years.

After she exchanged her goodbyes with my sister we left,her car was extremely fancy,the windows were so tinted I couldn't see inside at all and somehow,it was so clean I could see my reflection in the side.

She sat in the front,next to her driver,and I sat in the seat behind her,this car definitely doesn't feel like somewhere I should be.The only time I'd ever been in a car this nice was between one emergency foster placement I had when I was 9, they had to send out a nice car as the journey was 11 hours,it was so fancy that me and my sister each could've had a row to ourselves although we decided to remain next to eachother,she was still little when it happened.

I'm glad that I won't experience this life for long,it's something I'd never get used to,the riches,the private villas,and even just being able to rent out a restaurant if you need to,the concept it just crazy to me I'll never grasp how somebody can have that as their normal while most of my life I hadn't stayed in one place for longer than two years (other than before the incident with my parents).

Although it felt like my thoughts lasted forever the drive ended surprisingly quickly,Taylor got out the car first before heading towards my door and helping me out.

We walked in a peaceful silence before heading into a holister,I'd been meaning to look at their babydoll tops but I didn't think I'd actually get to so for once,I was excited.

"Okay,anything in particular you'd wanna try on?" Taylor asked,I shook my head - I don't expect her to buy me anything today nor do I want her to buy me anything.

"Okay honey,just let me know if you spot anything though!" She replied,giving me a warm smile.

I walked around aimlessly for a few minutes,every time I passed the section with the shirt I so badly wanted I would stare longer and longer,I want it so badly.

On my fourth lap I noticed Taylor picking up one of them "Hey,wanna try this on?" She asked me

"Uh,yeah sure if thats okay with you"

"No problem sweetie,this denim skirt would go super well with it so I'll grab you that to try too!"

We both headed towards the dressing room,I took the clothes off her and walked into the nearest cubicle available,removing my baggy hoodie and shirt I noticed how visible my ribs had gotten,it felt good to see my progress for once.

Trying on the shirt I actually felt good in something for once,although it was slightly too big but also tight around my arms.

I took my jeans off,my thighs looked like I was trying to cosplay a zebra so I decided to tried,and failed, to not look at my legs in the mirror.

I slipped on the mini skirt,it was cute but too short.You could see where my thighs used to constantly rub together and a few of the markings I'd been making the past months,so I took it off almost as quickly as I'd put it on replacing the skirt with my worn out jeans.

Suddenly,something in the mirror caught my attention,did my arms always look like big?I began to pick apart everything about my appearance that stood out to me in that moment, even down to the small chip in my tooth caused from falling off my skateboard when I was twelve.

Quickly,I was pulled from my thoughts by Taylor's voice once more

"Hey,you done in there yet?"

I fixed my hair,putting it over my shoulders before stepping out of the cubicle so she could see.

"Oh wow!That looks great on you,what about the skirt?"

"Thank you!Uh the skirt didn't really look great so I took it off"

"I'm sure it looked fine,but it's up to you.If you get changed we can go buy that shirt!"

"No!It's fine I don't need it,it was nice to just try on but I don't have to get it!"

"Don't be silly,I'm buying it for you whether you like it or not!"

"Thank you,but you don't have to do that"

// time skip to when they get back //

After five long hours of Taylor basically begging me to let her buy me things we were finally approaching my 'home' once more,I couldn't help feeling guilty for leaving my sister all day.

What if they'd all been horrid to her?It would've been my fault for not being there.

I decided to only take a few of my new shirts and pants with me because Taylor insisted she wanted some stuff to keep at hers so I could have some of my clothes there if I ever needed to spend the night before the adoption was finalised,which as much as I hate how she is somehow showing nothing but kindness towards me it actually made me smile.

As I was walking up to the door I began to hear the familiar sounds of breaking plates and shouting,I felt a sense of relief Taylor wouldn't have to hear or see what was going on inside.

I waved her off before I head inside,I wanted to make sure I didn't imagine today,for the first time in a while I'd laughed sincerely at something and it felt great.

Quickly racing past the destruction happening in the kitchen I raced up to my bedroom.My heart dropped realising my sister wasn't in there,I hid the bags under my bed so Jack wouldn't see them,although he knows about this trip he wouldn't be accepting towards the fact she actually bought me things.

I quietly walked downstairs,making sure to not step on the creaky steps.I speed walked past the kitchen and into the living room where I found my sister asleep on the sofa,a sense of relief washed over me knowing she's a heavy sleeper so she wouldn't have been disturbed by any of this.

Gently picking her up I silently headed back to our bedroom,placing her down on her bed and tucking her in.

The chaos still taking place downstairs would for sure keep me up all night,so I decided to go on a long walk.

I got changed into a new pair of lululemon leggings and a thick black hoodie,leaving my phone on my nightstand.Its only 5pm and I don't expect to take more than two hours so it should be fine.

I decided to climb out of my window,it would be easier than having to sneak past the mess again.Once a safe distance away from the home I slowed my pace down into a walk,the exhaustion of the day began to catch up to me as I continuously slowed more and more before coming to a stop,the work around me spinning.

It reminded me of when I was my sisters age,my friends and I playing on a carousel in a theme park we went to on a school trip and the feeling i'd get when I got off,that was what I last thought about before everything went black.

Authors note

Okay so that took me a month to write because I'm not motivated at all and #suicidal so that's all you're getting longest chapter yet so yippie have a good day/night
also no more trigger warnings because I'm lazy and this is basically gonna follow the same themes the entire time because it's not going to have a good ending I know that much