Today's definitely the day. I finally feel back to my normal self, I feel like I can ditch this place.
I'm already up at my usual time, 6:00am. Eren won't be up for another three hours due to his laziness. Once I tried to wake him up by kicking him and that didn't even work so I figure that I could leave now and come back here by noon or something, give him a little scare.
I get out of the bed, avoiding Eren who's sleeping on the floor. I walk over to my backpack and pick out something to wear for the day and I run to the bathroom. I quietly shut the door before turning on the light. I change my clothes and walk back into the room, put my clothes away, grab my school bag and tiptoe out of the room. I make my way to the front door to put on my shoes and then I open the door quietly and take my first step to freedom. Shutting the door behind me, and heading to my house to drop off my bag before I have a place I want to go; I need food so somewhere like a cafe would be nice, maybe the one that's a 20 minute walk would be far enough.
I set off on my path to get food but stop in my tracks. Nothing's open at 6am, shit. I take a turn onto a large street where I go to when I'm avoiding my parents. Striding down the street in almost a skipping movement, I arrive at a small park. Everything's shiny from the pink and orange painted across the sky, this is why I love the mornings. I jump up onto the black stairs of the play structure and take a seat on the bridge at the top. I swing my feet around the edge of the structure and let my feet hang off.
The morning feels like a calm song, y'know the ones that a pianist would play when they felt sad or even the ones that are light and that make you feel bubbly inside because they're so beautiful. That is the feeling that today has given off so far with the sunrise in front of me and the warm weather and the light breeze brushing against my face.
I pull my computer out of my school bag and I bring it onto my lap and start to finish up all of the unfinished school work that will be due by the time I get back. I'd rather not get bad grades, Eren doesn't understand, he only has average grades, I want to get high grades, I want a good future. A future where I don't need to continuously be on the run and be worried.
-
I didn't need anything else, I just needed to leave the house to make me happy. I feel so out of control in that house.
I sit back up and start to shut my computer. I catch a glance at the time before it shuts completely, its 8:30. Eren's going to be up in half an hour. I put away all of my completed homework and my computer and I grab my backpack. With every step across the moving bridge of the play structure the chains rattle. I haven't spoken a word for many hours now and I kinda like it, I should limit the amount I speak.
I need to hurry so I run until I'm far enough away from the house that Eren won't be able to find me easily when he wakes up. I run to a little part of the city where everything you'll need is. I wish I lived closer to here so then I wouldn't have to go so far just to have a good time.
I come across a little coffee shop in between a cute boutique and a flower shop. I swing open the door and am met with the delicious scent of the different treats here. I can smell muffins, cakes, pies, and hot chocolate. I walk over to a booth in the corner near the window so I can have a view while I enjoy my morning. I take a second to take in the true beauty of this place; with the lights that seem to golden the morning, the oak tables that shape the room, the comfy chairs with white cushions, and the colours of the decorations and the walls, I am struck with such perfections.
"Good morning, what may I get for you today?" A lady asks. She has a name tag on, her name's Hanna. Her dark hair seems to only go with the feel of the coffee shop.
"Hi, can I get a hot chocolate and a blueberry muffin please?" I ask.
"Sure, is that all?"
"Yes thank you." I say in dismissal.
I turn my attention back to my empty table and I take out a book from my bag. Books are the escape for the humankind, or at least that's what I think. I open the book up to the bookmark and I get lost in the words until I can picture the story in my mind. I like stories where I can picture it my way but at the same time I like to see the authors home they've created in the story. Everyone secretly makes a good story their own deep down.
"Here you are miss." The waitress says as she sets down my drink and muffin in front of me.
"Thank you." I say with a slight smile.
I get back to my book and start to slowly eat my muffin as the story takes me on an adventure. I can feel this, it's not just a blank page of words or an empty feeling, this is a feeling that takes me away.
-
I look up from my book and over to a clock that hangs above the counter of the bookstore, it's already 11:30. I made plans to be home by 12. I get up from the floor in the middle of the isles and I make my way to the check out. I bring my book up to the counter and hand it to the man standing behind the register.
"That'll be $21.50 please." The man says.
I don't say a word but I hand him a 20 and a 5 dollar bill. He then hands me my change and book and gives me a softy smile.
"Thank you." I say as I walk away.
I walk out of the book store and stay quiet as I walk the long path back to Eren's house. It's been about 3 hours since he's probably woken up so I'm not in any rush due to the fact that timing doesn't matter anymore.
-
I walk up the front steps and open the door to Eren's house. "Mikasa?!" I hear Eren yell my name, it's pretty much game over. I start to walk back out the door but before I can get over I can feel hands wrap around my waist and pull me back inside. Now I'm not sure if leaving was worth the embarrassment of being carried bridal style back inside by Eren. My face turns completely red and I start to regret the wonderful morning I had. Eren then brings me into his room and locks the door behind him.
"Can we talk?" He asks after he sets me down on the bed.
"I guess." I say confused.
"I was just wondering why you hate me so much that you have to just take off and make me worry." His eyes look like they're going to water.
"There was no need to worry." I dryly.
"Can you just cut the crap and just be straight up with me for once? What happened to you?" Eren says agitated.
"Okay. Ive never stayed in one play for more than 6 months. I felt like this time would be different, but then I met you and I felt like you'd change everything. You seemed weird, so I avoided you and shut you out so that I could actually have a childhood. Are you satisfied?" I yell.
The room goes silent and wide eyed stare comes from across the room for a second.
His expression softens before speaking. "Yes, thank you."
I didn't expect him to say that. I look down at my hands and fiddle with them a bit before I decided to change the subject. "Can we get pizza?" I ask, averting eye contact.
"What's wrong?" He asks.
"Nothing. So how about that pizza?" I ask.
"Fine, Just don't do anything stupid while I'm gone." Says Eren before leaving the room.
I wait until I know he's downstairs, then I pick up my bag and walk over to the bedroom window and open it, climb out and onto the roof. It's calm up here and the view of the beach is great. I think I'm going to sleep here tonight. I open my computer and watch episode after episode of my favourite show.
"Mikasa!" Calls Eren breaking my silence. I decide to ignore his yells.
My afternoon goes by fast and I watch as the sun goes down and the sky gets painted with oranges, reds, blues, and purples. The sun goes down completely at 7 and it's dark out. I climb down from the roof and back into Eren's room, he isn't in here. I head to the main floor and eat the left over pizza. The house is surprisingly quiet, maybe Eren isn't here. I wonder the house to find it clearly empty and then I go back to Eren's room and, with a somewhat disappointed feeling, I turn off the lights and slip under the covers of his bed.
-
I wake up wrapped in a grip I can't seem to escape and a hand up my sweater and wrapped around my waist. I look over to see Eren asleep beside me.
"Eren" I whisper "wake up."
"What do you want Mikasa?" Asks Eren resting his chin in the crook of my neck.
"Let me go." I say trying to squirm out of his grip.
"No."
"Why not!"
"I'm tired and after that stunt you pulled last night I'm not letting you go." Eren say in a sleepy tone. I guess I have to deal with him holding me. Thud.... Thud.... Thud. I can feel his heart beat against my back. His gentle yet strong hands wrapped around me and his lips so close to my neck, it makes me shiver.
"What's wrong, are you cold?" Asks Eren, Moving even closer to me if possible.
"No I'm not cold, I just sometimes get a weird feeling in my stomach when I'm around you." I say making him let out a little laugh.
"like right now." I say seriously.
"I know the feeling." Eren says leaving me in silence as we falls back asleep for a few more hours.
-
"Make me food" I complain.
"No." Eren says
"Then let me go make food" I say
"No."
"But I'm hungry." I whine
"I don't care." says Eren staring at his phone
"Why are you being so rude?" I ask with annoyance.
"Because I am stuck with a bratty teenage girl all day and that makes me annoyed!" Eren says before storming out of the room and locking the door behind him.
What did I do? Why is he mad at me? I get off the bed and walk over to the door. I can't hear anything.
"Eren I'm sorry for whatever I did, are you okay?" I say.
"It's not your fault." He says quietly.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask getting no response. I walk back to the bed and lay on my back. after a couple of minutes I hear the door unlock and Eren walks in. He comes over and lays down right beside me but doesn't say anything for a while. I look over at him to his eyes extremely red from crying.
"My mom has cancer and she only has weeks to live." He says calmly.
"I'm so sorry. Are you going to be ok?" I say.
"I don't know" he says "I keep getting updates from my dad on how my mom is and she's not doing so well."
