My Mate Is A Potato

A POTATO AND A HOSPITAL

*Alex Slutboy POV*

"So, this potato..." The guy asked awkwardly after a while.

"It's the love of my life." I gave my mate a kiss for emphasis and smiled sweetly at it. It's sweet scent made the pain in my arm almost nonexistent. Almost.

Potato, I love you so. Even if my arm still hurts like a bitch. Oh the things I could do to you...shit, now I have a boner.

"Dude, that's fucking sick. I'm all for 'love is love' and all that shit but seriously. That's a potato for the love of god." He groaned and mumbled something about not driving me to two hospitals. I don't like him. I mean, what if the boner wasn't even because of Potato? It could have been a random boner for all he knows!

Fucking dick, what if I insulted your mate like that? Huh? Potatoes have feelings too you know! I think...I hope...

"Stop staring at me like that, it's creeping me out." He said while not looking at me. Just looking at the road as the hospital came into sight, the car swerved into the parking lot and I got out. Did I really need a hospital though? I'm a werewolf. Well, I'm also not the strongest werewolf. No wait, I'm just not very strong yet. I'll get stronger than my brother eventually, one day. And when that day comes I'll shove it in his face. With my fist. "Go in, get help. I'm leaving." He then drove away into that majestic as fuck sunset.

As I walked into the hospital with my mate I got shivers down my spine. Hospitals are always cold for some reason. The woman at the reception desk peered up at me, her eyes widening slightly upon the sight of me. I guess getting run over by a car makes your arm look abused, but at least it isn't as bad as it probably was when it got run over by the car. As she went to call paramedics I turned around and left through the doors. I'm not staying here, we don't need them.

I don't need a doctor and neither does Potato. We're strong!

We're walking in the wrong direction dickhead.

Shut the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up.

You're an idiot. I'm your wolf, how would you do that?

And so I ended up smacking myself with my already injured arm, hoping I taught him a lesson. I wouldn't know though, he ain't speaking to me anymore. Though I did go back towards home, which did turn out to be in the opposite direction.

Upon reaching my home my mother came rushing towards me, as if she knew I was injured. Her motherly instincts must have tattled on me like Peter always did in first grade. I've always hated Peter Malarkey, he was full of malarkey

"Alex! Your arm...what happened? Come sit down and tell me why your arm looks like the roadkill your uncle likes to pick off the side of the road." We sat on the large couch on the living room as I told her about how I had ran out of the mall, mate in hands. "You found your mate? That's wonderful sweetheart!" Mother craned her neck towards the staircase. "Sweetheart, Alex found his mate!"

Footsteps coming down the stairs could be heard before my father came into the room. "Alex? That's wonderful! Who is she?"

"Dad, mom...meet Potato." I held up Potato like they did Simba in The Lion King. That movie was the bomb when I was younger.

"Jeffrey get the pack nurse and bring her over here. I think he's more damaged than I might've hoped." My mother then pushed my father towards the path that leads to the nurses building. "Now...honey, what is this about a potato?"

"They're my mate mom." It was kind of rivoting to say it out loud so officially like that to my mom, but she just seemed flustered. Probably because potato is more beautiful than she is.

"You can't have a potato as a mate, I won't allow it." She spoke calmly with a hand on my shoulder.

And then my soul shattered.