image cred: cryborgmechs
tw // sexual assault mention
It was the third time Denki had reread the same paragraph.
The book was open on his lap — something about boundaries and rebuilding trust — but the words blurred together, his eyes skimming without absorbing. His mind wasn't here, in his dorm room, or even in the book. It was spiraling forward, chasing a moment he hadn't lived yet.
He was going to tell Eijirou.
Tonight.
Maybe.
His heart was already pounding like he'd said it out loud.
He closed the book, his fingers lingering on the corner of the page as if he might suddenly decide to keep reading. He didn't. He slid it under his bed and stood, pacing the width of his dorm room like the air was too thick to sit in.
A million excuses lined up in his brain.
It's not the right time. He's had a long day. What if it makes things worse? What if it hurts him too? What if he looks at me differently after? What if I ruin the peace we've finally built?
He rubbed his face, exhaling sharply through his nose.
But the real question — the only one that mattered — echoed back:
What if I never say it?
What if he carried this forever? Alone? What if he let this wall stay between them, solid and permanent, even after everything they'd survived together?
He wasn't ready. Not really. But maybe he didn't have to be ready.
Maybe he just had to be ready enough.
Denki moved to his desk, hands shaking slightly as he pulled out a notepad. He didn't want to read off a script, but he needed to see the words first — make them feel less terrifying.
He scribbled quietly for several minutes.
"When you told me you loved me, it reminded me of a time someone didn't."
"I've been trying to understand why I hate being touched in public. Why I panic when I feel too seen."
"Something happened in junior high. Something bad. I don't want to tell you everything yet — maybe not for a while. But I want you to know it wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. I just... I need you to know that it's not just anxiety. It's not just me being weird about PDA. It's because of what happened back then."
He paused.
Then scratched it all out.
Too much. Too clinical. Too outside himself.
This wasn't about facts. It was about something scarier: feeling.
He dropped the pen and leaned back in the chair, pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes.
Just breathe.
You don't have to tell him everything. Just enough to help him understand.
You don't owe anyone a perfect version of your pain. You just owe yourself the chance to stop carrying it alone.
He got up. Grabbed a hoodie. Pulled it on even though the dorms were warm.
Then he left his room.
Walked slowly toward Eijirou's door.
Halfway there, he stopped, turned around, walked back.
Then forward again.
His legs felt like they belonged to someone else — someone braver. But his hands were still his. Still trembling.
YOU ARE READING
Work it Out - KiriKami
FanfictionDenki loved his boyfriend more than anything in the world, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. He couldn't even bring himself to hold hands in public. One day, determined to overcome his fears, he decided to go for it; he held Eijirou's hand in...
