No Turning Back

Forgiveness

Chapter 14: Forgiveness

Sarah and I were shopping at the mall, it had been a week since Michael had asked me to marry him and I accepted, Sarah and I were getting some much needed girl time, I had been spending so much time with Michael, she and I both needed to spend some time together.

She was so happy for Michael and I, when I had told her that he had asked and I said yes; she screamed and said “it's about time! We're going to be sisters now”

“I know!' I said “I still am in shock, I mean I was hoping that he would ask but he totally shocked me with it”

“let me see the ring again”

I held out my hand and she oohed and awed over it, it really was a gorgeous ring, it had tiny diamonds all around the main diamond which was heart shaped, it was white gold, I fell in love with it as soon as he put it on my finger.

“it's so beautiful Kelli” Sarah said.

“I know, I just love it”

“so when's the wedding?”

“we don't know yet, we haven't really talked about it” I thought about that conversation as she and I walked through the mall, 'when did Michael want to get married?' I asked myself.

I started feeling this nagging feeling in my heart, I thought about my parents marriage, it was picture perfect; they were so happy and always showing each other how much they loved each other, my dad would sometimes bring my mom roses when he came home from work, one day I asked him why he did that because it wasn't mother's day or her birthday and he told me that he just wanted to give her something as beautiful as she was, their relationship was like those found in love stories; at least until my dad passed away then that's when my mom just lost it, she stopped caring about everything, especially me, I had to basically take care of myself. Those first few months she mostly just stayed in bed, barely ate anything and she wouldn't talk to anyone, I felt like I was the mom for a while, it really sucked. Finally though she started getting out of bed, she started working again, she was different though, she had a shorter temper, and she became judgmental and very negative, I loved her but it was so hard to be around her, that's why I jumped at the chance to date Chris, he seemed so nice, and I needed to have a chance to get away from my mom sometimes. I don't know what I expected when I told her I was pregnant, I guess I was hoping that she would be the supportive type and help me through this, I was so hurt when she suggested I get rid of the baby, and then even more so when she kicked me out and wanted nothing to do with me or her grand-daughter, and even though I haven't heard from her at all in a year I felt like I needed to at least try to make things right, because I actually wanted her at my wedding, I don't know why but I wanted her there; maybe it was to show her that even though I had a baby at 17 and she left me with no where to go I am still making something of myself, and I have a great guy. Or maybe I just needed to see her in order to fully forgive her for what she did, I mean I forgave her back after I accepted Christ into my heart, but maybe I needed her to know that I don't hold it against her anymore, I don't know. I'll figure it out.

“hellloooooo, earth to Kelli” I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at Sarah “sorry” I said

“you looked deep in thought girl, what's up?”

“nothing, just thinking about my mom”

“oh really? Like what?”

“kind of how I want her at my wedding”

“whoa, like really?!”

“yeah, I don't know exactly why I want her there yet but I do”

“wow, okay”