Green Eyes (Loki fanfic- completed)

Part 19: Learn to love again

"Eerika please!"

"How could you not tell me? Better yet why did you tell him? Why did you tell anybody at all?" I turned quickly to face Ake as he followed me through the corridors leaving the throne room, he stopped in his tracks and his eyes were saddened again.

I could see his mouth trying to form the words but none came out, I went to turn away but he grabbed my arm and turned me to face him again "no wait" I shook him from my arm and crossed my arms waiting for his answer "I had to do it, I had to find a way to keep him from you, to stop him from... Ending you"

"Ending me? What are you talking about Ake?"

"Destroying you! Getting you killed, or worse! All you've done since you've known him is cry and argue, someday he will do much worse than banish you"

"Yeah, well, now you're the one arguing with me and making me cry"

He went silent for a moment and went to touch my arm, I stepped back and he looked hurt "Eerika..."

"No... Just don't... Just leave me alone"

As I walked away I heard heavy footsteps behind me, I looked over my shoulder to make sure Ake wasn't following me. I saw Loki approaching Ake, I didn't know what he was going to do to him, but I just kept walking anyway. When I came to a corner I stopped so they couldn't see me and just listened.

"You should have thought it through"

"What?"

"The royals back up plan, it was just to make Eerika agree to the arranged marriage. You were never really in the picture. Now she only has a reason to hate you. Besides, what makes you think she would leave me?"

"Because I trust that you will show her your true side, and then she will abandon you, like everyone else, so I hear"

"When that day comes I will kneel to you and give you my throne"

Then there was silence and suddenly Loki appeared in front of me and my heart jumped out of my chest "how..." I punched his shoulder "don't do that!"

"You know it's rude to eavesdrop"

"Says the god of mischief and lies" I crossed my arms and smiled.

But Loki sighed instead "so you heard all of that?"

"Yeah... I would never leave you Loki"

His expression was saddened as memories of abandonment battled in his head "never is indefinite"

"I know but... It's all we've got to go on" I smiled again and took his hand, beginning to lead him down the corridor "c'mon, a good read will cheer us up"

"I think you need it more than me, you smile but you can't hide the hurt that is so clear in your eyes"

"Yes well, sometimes smiling makes me feel better"

"I understand" he said softly, he often smiled when hurt.

We arrived at the library and I went to one of the bookcases directly in front of me from the doorway, I then focused on the shelf that was eye level and took the biggest book from it. When I opened it up the pages were hollowed out and inside was the red book Loki had given me "sorry about destroying the book, but I thought this was a good place to keep this one safe" I did it a couple of days before Loki banished me, but I had taken it out on that day, so it went with me to Vanaheim. I kept it in a drawer and completely forgot about it while I was forgetting about Loki, when they said I was to marry Loki I took the book from its wooden coffin and brought it home, where it belonged.

"Of course you realise that's vandalism" he smirked.

"Oh like you've never done it"

He smirked again and waltzed over to another book case and took out an equally large book, and then about six more. He took them to the table and I followed him, he opened up the book at the top of the pile and I noticed it had been hollowed out, then he showed me the rest which were all equally vandalised "maybe once or twice"

I shook my head and looked through them all again "but they're all empty"

"Well I put an object in a book and then I would take it out once I needed it, when another object needed hiding I would choose a different book"

"What sort of objects? Magical ones?"

"Yes, but mostly stuff I didn't want to share with Thor and his friends, the rest was one time use only magic"

I smiled and closed the book I had in my hand and put it back on the top of the pile "you'll have to tell me about them in my next lesson"

Loki smiled too and then we just sat down on the golden floor as I read to him stories from the little red book, our backs resting on the bookcase behind us and our legs straight out in front of us. Loki seemed to particularly enjoy the Beauty and the Beast tale, although Asgardians do not tend to relate to Midgardian tales. Although the version in the red book is quite grim, we found another version at the very top of one of the book cases, it was dusty and had never been touched.

"I feel like this book is my life story" he chuckled.

I wasn't sure if it was a joke or not, maybe it was both "how come?"

"Well I'm the beast, mean and grumpy" he chuckled again, but it was a bit of an understatement "but then this beauty comes along and somehow manages to make me into a man again, a man worthy of his kingdom"

I blushed a little and looked down at my lap "so you think you've changed?"

"I think it's a debatable subject" he laughed and I watched as the corners of his eyes crinkled when he laughed or smiled, it was so good to see him laughing, it was a nice breath of fresh air.

"Sitting here with you, I completely forget that I'm some princess now, it feels like before"

"Before I banished you?" Loki's expression turned ashamed and I was sad that his smile was gone.

I shifted awkwardly and then managed to look at him, biting my lip as I did "we can't live in the past..."

"I shouldn't have done it"

"You mustn't punish yourself Loki"

"But you should" I stared at him puzzled "you should be kicking me and plotting your revenge, you should hate me and vow never to forgive me, and yet you have and I am puzzled as to why"

"Because forgiving you was more for me, and I forgave you a long time ago. Loki I did hate you, I mean I really hated you, but I realised that it happened and I couldn't change that, all it was doing to me was hurting my heart and I just decided that you weren't worth the pain" He frowned and then I realised what I had said "but that was then, and now that I'm back we can start again, I can stop being angry with you and start loving you again"

"What?"

"I can stop being angry"

"No no the other part"

"And start loving you again?"

"Love?"

"Well... Yeah..."

"Wow"

"What?" As soon as I said that he kissed me quite suddenly, it wasn't the first time we had kissed since I had been back, but it was the first truly passionate kiss on his part, like he had forgiven himself and was now accepting, like I had, that we could start again.