Crescendo

Chapter 32

Daniel and I left the Leights soon after Mrs. Leight told me about their plans. I knew he would leave to go on tour soon, but not within weeks before we had a chance to—

"Are you okay?" Daniel asked, finally. The elevator lurched, and so did my stomach. "You seem kind of... spooked."

"Oh," I said, dropping the hem of my shirt and preventing myself from continuing to wrench it between my palms. I was being too obvious. "I was just... well, Mrs. Leight told me that Howard made you an offer today." Daniel sighed, but I continued. "And, um... I don't know. It just happened a little sooner than I thought." I had made it through the entire drive without opening my mouth, and there I was, getting myself into trouble.

But instead of being frustrated, he laughed. "Okay. We've already decided how to deal with this, haven't we? You could come with me."

"Are you sure you want me to?" I asked as the elevator pinged with each floor we passed. "I mean, we haven't been dating, or fake dating, for very long, and the book..."

"What about it?" he asked. "You couldn't write from the plane?"

Goo point. "Yeah," I said. "But..."

"But what?" he stared at me, his eyes finding mine. "Do you not want to go?"

"I..." My voice trailed off. I did want to go. I wanted to leave the city and travel, but I started going to college and had a career to think of. But hadn't I returned to school because I was bored? Not to mention the fact that I wanted to be with Daniel. if only to figure out where our relationship could go. But ... the last time I was in a relationship, Jay cheated on me.

And a fear squeezed my heart whenever I considered blindly falling for a man again.

I clicked my tongue, uncertain and incapable of sorting through my feelings before the elevator doors slid open. "I just need some time to think about it."

Daniel nodded. "I understand. And if you want to stay here, that's okay, too."

I glanced at him, relief washing through me. "Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, smiling. "No pressure." I opened my mouth to respond, but his eyes turned cold when he looked toward my front door. I followed his eyes, only to see Jay standing down the hall.

"Blair," Jay said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

Daniel stared at him, the softness of his voice gone. "Well, you did."

"Right," Jay frowned. "I guess I can, um... I can leave you to your... date?" Daniel scoffed, annoyed by having to share the same air.

"Actually," I turned to Daniel, hoping he would understand what I had to do. "I need to talk to Jay."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jay smile. He thought he had won my attention over Daniel, and nothing could be further from the truth. Daniel wrapped his hand around mine and leaned close before whispering. "Are you sure?" He was being protective, and the realization made my heart flutter.

I nodded. "I'll call you tonight, promise."

Daniel left hesitantly, casting me a look when he disappeared down the hall, showing his dissatisfaction with my promise. I would explain everything, but later.

I said nothing to Jay until we were inside my condo. I scanned the furniture, wondering what it would be like to leave and not return for months.

"So," Jay broke the silence. "Another fake date?"

"No," I answered, dropping my keys in the dish by the door. "A real date."

He raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said—"

"Yeah, I know what I said. But Daniel and I talked, and we want to give this a real shot." The words felt foreign coming from my lips, but it was the truth.

"So, you're dating him now?"

Yes. "Mia called." I hadn't meant to bring it up so quickly, but there was no point in drawing out the inevitable.

Jay paused. "She did?"

"Yeah," I said, fidgeting with my shirt again. "Now I know why she's been acting so squirrelly around me." I had gone weeks without hearing from her, only to discover she was avoiding me, unwilling to admit to sleeping with my boyfriend. A wave of nausea hit me.

"I don't know what she said, but-"

I shook my head. "She told me enough."

Jay stepped forward. "Blair-"

"Don't," I said, my fist tightening at my side. "I'm so tired. I'm tired of us. You didn't even have the decency to wait until my mom had been dead a year before cheating." My jaw ached, realizing how fucked it was. "When did you do it?"

He shut his eyes, as if this was hard for him. "Does it matter?"

"Let me rephrase. At what point did you decide that our relationship wasn't worth it?"

He waved me off, insulted by the truth. "It wasn't about that."

"What was it about, then? Cause you wouldn't sleep with me."

Jay stared at the floor, unable to meet my eyes. "She asked me how I was doing."

I blinked. "What?"

"That's how it started, okay? She asked me how I was doing."

My eyes widened. "My mom just died. I—"

"I know. And it's not like I expected you to care about how I felt about your loss, but Mia asked, and she cared."

"Right," I spat. "And that makes it okay?"

"It doesn't," he said.

Tears burned in my eyes. I wanted to stop, to forget, but nothing would make it better. "When did you do it?" I asked again, morbidly curious. After the long nights at the hospital? When I stayed in bed the week after she was gone?

Jay sighed. "You're not going to like the answer."

"I don't like any of this," I said. "Might as well give me what I need to know."

He stared at me, wondering if there was a way to change my mind, then confessed. "After the funeral. You were inconsolable, and we went to get dinner for us, for you. It just happened."

"Right," I said, my throat dry, scratching with every breath.

"I understand that you're with somebody else," he said, continuing with an arrogance I never thought possible. "But I think we have a real shot at working this time. We're different, both of us. And if you gave me the chance to prove it to you, I know I could make you happy."

"You cheated on me," I snapped, "and you didn't even have the decency to tell me yourself before you broke my heart. And now I'm with Daniel—"

"Yes, but you were in a fictional relationship with him last week. It's not real."

"Realer than our relationship ever was." My body burned with an anger I didn't know I could house. "I need you to leave."

"Blair, I—"

"I need you to leave. I don't want you here, and I don't want to hear from you ever again. I hope you have a great divorce lawyer and then meet a girl who asks how you are when they're going through a personal tragedy."

"I'm sorry," he said, his hands falling to his side, no longer hopeful for reconciliation.

I turned away, unable to understand. "Sorry isn't good enough."

After a few long, silent moments, Jay walked through the door, not stopping to cast a glance in my direction before leaving. My shoulders dropped as the door shut, and I fell onto the couch and cried.