Ship/AU One-Shots

WOAH

STARTING THIS OFF WITH A MAJOR AUTHORS NOTE SORRY. OKAY FIRST THIS HAS 200+ VIEWS WOAH. SECOND GERARD WAY. 3RD THIS BOOK IS BORING SO IM GONNA ADD LIKE FUNNY STUFF IN IT. OKAY ENJOY.

also any bolded text is an authors note.

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Holy shit Phil Lester is hot.

I'm going to the yearly camping trip with other kids from our school, and PhIL FUCKING LESTER IS COMING THIS YEAR FINALLY. HE'S SO HOT I CAN'T. HE HAS THE JAWLINE OF A FUCKING GOD. HIS ADAMS APPLE IS OH SHIT. HE HAS THIN MUSCLES UNDER HIS SHIRT THAT I'D PAY A MILLION POUNDS TO SEE. HIS EYES I GET LOST IN THEM SO MUCH I KNOW MY WAY OUT WITHOUT USING A MAP. AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON HIS LIPS DONT YOU DARE BECAUSE YOU'LL BE HERE FOR LIKE 12 HOURS. IN FACT I COULD TALK ABOUT PHIL LESTER FOR 50 HOURS IF I COULD. THE ONLY OTHER HUMAN THAT IS HOTTER THAN PHIL LESTER IS ANDY BIERSACK. (he's a beautiful man)

(A/N that was just me complimenting Phil)

I love him so much but he's straight, and I'm as straight as a rainbow.

It's about 4:50 pm and it'll take another hour till we get to the camp site.

"Hey can you turn on the car radio?" I ask my dad up in the front seat.

"Hey, I heard from some other mums that Phil Lester will be going this year." My mum says.

"Oh believe me, I know." I say smiling and leaning back.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah I'm gay mum. I know these things."

The rest of the car ride is spent in silence because I remembered I never actually told my parents I was gay before.

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We arrive and I help my dad pitch the tent. When I look over my shoulder and see a wedding going on in a clearing in the camp site. (this is a thing trust me)

"Hey dad, look. I say pointing.

"Oh, what a beautiful wedding."

"Yeah sure is."

When we finish tent I collaps against the car.

"My legs don't work like they used to before."

"You're so out of shape." I hear a giggle next to me.

"Excuse you." I say turning my head.

No.

No.

Wait, yes.

Yes.

Phil.

Lester.

"Oh, h-hey." I way blushing looking down.

"Don't worry I am too." He giggles.

Stop giggling it's disgusting.

"Hm. yeah." Is all I could say. WAIT NO WHAT NO DONT SAY YEAH YOU DIPSHIT NO.

THAN WITHOUT SKIPPING A BEAT HE SAYS,

"Wow really what the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying shit to me? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue. You didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit all over you and you will drown in it (isnt there a fic like that). You're fucking dead, kiddo."

"What."

He bursts out laughing unable to keep a straight face anymore.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just, that was the greatest thing I've ever done." He says clutching his stomach laughing between words.

"I came to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now Phil Lester." I say.

He laughs even harder while I only giggle still not knowing what is going on. (i don't either)

"Do you wanna go for a walk, everyone seems to be doing things together and we're the outcasts." He says abruptly.

"Oh, u-uh sure."

"Great! I can get to know you better too."

Did he just flirt with me.

We start walking twords a trail after telling our parents where we're going.

After walking for a bit he finally says,

"So what do you like to do for fun?"

"Uh, not much. I like video games and film making." I say.

"Oh, me too!" He says cheerfully.

"Uh, I should tell you. That uhm. Im. Uh. G-gay.." I say suddenly. Where did that come from?

"Oh. Don't worry! I'm bisexual. I prefer males though." He says smiling sweetly at me.

We stop and stare at each other.

I go into a trance and admire his face. For the 50th time. He seems to be doing the same.

After a minute he wraps his arm around my waist and holds my hair in the back of his other hand, slamming our lips together.

FUCK.

HES SO GOOD AT THIS.

I pull my arms around his neck and kiss him back harder. We kiss for a long time until he pulls away leaning his head on mine.

"You're irresistible." He says.

I just giggle and blush. He leans back again and takes my hand and we continue down the path.

"Can I be your boyfriend?" He asks.

"You don't realize, how long I've waited for this. I'm Phil trash #1."

He smiles and laughs kissing the top of my head.

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Well.

Idc about typos I need a breather from that.