Emma

17: Laura

September came and went. My children came and went, participating in their own lives at school – lives which I didn't know the half of. Apparently, Emma's school situation had improved greatly, which was all I needed to know. After all, it was the only thing I ever truly worried about.

October passed just as quickly, but during this time I was happy; I was satisfied. My life was back on track at last. The adoption was going as smoothly as it should have done initially. The loss of Barney was soon recovered from (although he would never be forgotten; our dear, dead dog would always be in the back of our minds).

If someone had asked me how I was feeling at that moment in time, my reply would have been something along the lines of "I've never been better" or "I'm doing really well." Because that was the truth. Later, I would describe myself as unaware, naïve and even stupid. Unfortunately, this was also the truth.

I was so, so stupid.

But for the moment, I was unaware, or at least ignorant, of what was to come. They say "ignorance is bliss", right? Well it damn well was.

At the end of her first month at school, Emma brought home a certificate which stated "most improved learner", confirming my hopes that she had changed dramatically, and for the better, over the past few weeks. Simon and I were so proud.

It turned out that he hadn't really needed to take the year off work after all, as things were running so smoothly, but it was really nice for us to spend some time together on the days where I wasn't working. I was a part-time teaching assistant at the local secondary school, a job I had chosen to allow me to spend more time with the "children". Simon and I had almost given up hope on these "children" when it seemed I was unable to become pregnant again after Luke, but then we had stumbled across an adoption advert in the newspaper, which realised the dream once more.

Over his time off, Simon decided to take on the project of redecorating the house, which was desperately in need of a fresh lick of paint, as he was the sort of person who became restless if he didn't have something to do which filled most of his day. I, on the other hand, was perfectly happy spending my free time sprawled across the settee, watching daytime television.

Some days, the two of us went out for lunch together or paid Grandma Anna a visit. Through this time, we ultimately re-discovered each other. The slowly-dying fire of our relationship had been re-kindled.

Towards the end of the school term, we began to make plans for Hallowe'en. This year, we decided, we'd go "all out" and throw a party for the kids. Having finally made some friends, it was clear we would no longer have a problem finding somebody for Emma to invite along, so we gave both children a few invitations to hand out on the second-from-last day at school.

I took the kids shopping straight after school on the day they broke up. As per usual, Luke chose a skeleton suit. Emma walked straight past the girly witch dresses and paused to look at a black, hooded costume in the boy's section. When she tried it on in the changing rooms, the only part of her body showing was her pale, little face and her blonde fringe.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" I asked her, secretly hoping she'd change her mind and go for one of the girly costumes (yes, I know they conformed to gender-stereotypes, but who didn't find them cute?". When she firmly replied "yes", I let her have it. At the end of the day, it was a Hallowe'en costume, not a party dress.

"So, who did you choose to invite?" I asked both children.

"Tyler, Benny and Angela," Luke replied.

"And you, Emma?"

"My friend Thomas," she began. "And Samuel and Ethan."

"No girls?" I hadn't realised her friends were all boys – I had just automatically assumed they would be female.

"No. Tod doesn't li-" she suddenly clamped a hand over her mouth as if she had spilled an important secret. "I don't like girls," she quickly amended.