Regret

Chapter 5: Letting Go

I regret a lot, but letting you go was the worst thing I could've done. I should have stopped changing and show you I could be me and still be the one you want. I should have let you in when it was so obvious you were never going to hurt me. I was insecure and scared of what you could do that I never gave you the chance to prove how good you could be to me. I pushed you into the friendzone and all I wanted was to keep you close. A part of me wanted to let you know everything but I couldn't get past the fear of being hurt again. I pushed my feelings away and pretended you meant nothing. That you were nothing but a crush.

You weren't. You were so much more than a crush. You were the first person I could see a future with. Someone I wanted to fall in love with. And in a way I did but once I realized what you meant to me it was too late. You were happy to be with someone else. I was just a girl you used to like and nothing more.

You're happy now without me. You've got a girl that will love you without being doubtful. She's there and I'm not. I know that it should've been me loving you. It should've been me making you laugh. But I fucked up.

I regret not opening my heart and punishing you for the damage others inflicted on me. You were perfect. You still are perfect. And I am still a fucked up mess. But at least at one point you were willing to love this mess. Maybe one day it'll be the right time for us both. Maybe our hearts will come together and it'll be a happily ever after. But that's only a maybe and it's all I can hope for.

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~Bruised_warrior