Niall Horan imagines

"I don't like being on tour.."

"There ya are!" Niall popped his head into the back of the tour bus after stalking through it and looking in every bunch. He let himself in all the way and smiled at the simple sight of you, not yet realizing what you were up to "I've been texting you. We're about to sit down to eat. They made perogies." He loved when everybody was gathered backstage, eating together and spending time away from the craziness.

You didn't say a word to him though, you kept doing as you were, folding your clothes over the bed and then rolling them into your open blue duffel bag. Niall finally looked away from your profile and watched as your hands worked over a pair of dark wash denim shorts.

"What are ya doing?" He asked, his mind scattered over what he was watching. "You're not leaving." He stated as if it was a fact. Birds fly, fish swim, you stayed.

"I don't like being on tour with you, Niall." You said through a warm exhale, sounding as if someone took to a pin to a balloon as you admitted the truth your boyfriend. He had come in so happily and you knew you were about to shift his mood to a darker place. You never hid how uncomfortable you felt, but you didn't voice it much as it was clear that this was a huge part of Niall's life and performing was something he was so obviously born to do. "I don't feel good here." You tried to keep it simple, not wanting to say anything you would regret.

"Is this because of the crowd this morning? They were particularly out of control, but it's been fine the other times..."

"It's always crazy, Niall. Always." It sort of freaked you out that he could say that this was normal, that he didn't always feel violated by the hands reaching out for just a brush of his skin, the screaming voices, the burning tears, and the violent fits happening around him on a daily basis. "I know it's not your doing, but it still makes me uncomfortable."

Niall reached forward and took the second pair of jeans from your hands, throwing them to the side harshly and sitting on top of some of your folded clothes to force you to stop and listen to him, to look at him.

"What can I do? Do you want me to talk to Paul? I mean...I'll try to make things easier..."

You appreciated what he was saying and you knew he meant well, but so much of this was beyond his control that all you answered with was a shake of your head.

"I'm going back to my life, Niall. I'm not going to finish the tour." Directly, you told him, trying to mask how sad you were about your decision. Your voice was successful, but your eyes were wet as soon as you could read how sad you were making your boyfriend. "I'm sorry. I can't stay, I can't." It was too hard for you. "You kow, I'm going to go back to Ireland."

"Well, after the tour, I'll move there." Niall knew that he didn't want to date anyone else. He knew he wasn't missing out. You were the girl for him and he was very proud of that. If he had to commute from Ireland to London, so be it. He would live on Zayn's couch half the time and then stay in a flat with you the rest. "We'll be together." Very confidently, he told you once he was standing up. He reached forward and ran his hand down the side of your face. "Let's go get perogies, alright?" You weren't leaving. He wouldn't let you. In his mind, you were just upset. Even he went through an adjustment period every tour after a long break. After leaning in, he kissed you as gently as he could instead of his usual messy smooch and took your hand behind him to lead you outside, but you stood still in your place and let him stop when he realized you weren't joining him. Niall turned around and sighed with exasperation before seeing you were in tears.

"I'm sorry, Niall, but this is your life and I don't think I can get used to it." You had accompanied him on trips before where he was promoting an item or a single. You had taken pictures of him and fans on the streets, but this tour life had you drained. The paparazzi with their intrusive blinding flashes, the journalists with their repetitive personal questions, the fans (some) with their lack of boundaries, it was too much. The traveling was the best part and even it could be really terrible with the rapid climate and time change and living out of a duffel bag. "I like simplicity. I like living in a small town and I like having a routine. I can't go to the store without someone asking me questions, shouting, or taking pictures, this isn't for me..." The more you spoke, the more you cried, and you wished Niall would lunge forward and wrap you up in his arms, but he didn't. He was standing speechless, watching you with his arms hanging uselessly at his sides.

"If you aren't happy here, I'm not going to make you stay..." Niall whispered, licking his lips back and wearing the same expression he always did before shouting or throwing his fist against something. You swallowed and watched him, waiting for the sound of his knuckles making an impact to ring, but it never happened. He just stood like a statue in front of you, a very hurt statue. "I love you and I want you to be happy. I wish I could change things." He admitted quietly. You both stood still for what felt like forever more, but eventually you moved closer and slid your hands up his sides until you could wrap them around his neck. Your touch brought him to tears, choking them out as he bowed his head against yours. "I really do love you..." He managed to whisper, one of his hands knit in your hair while the other pressed into your backside.

"I love you." You cried against him. You loved him to the moon and back, but it didn't change the fact that you just couldn't ever feel like yourself in his world.

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I liked this one. ♡

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