despair | h. rindo

XXII

It had been almost a month since the incident with the unknown gang. After knowing this, your aunt was insistent on pressing charges against whoever did this. Needless to say, the twins got more than an earful.

None of those have been surprising.

What was surprising was Rindou visiting every other day with a fresh bouquet and a basket of fruits and chocolates. 

You never really questioned his sudden sweetness towards you, mostly because he was quiet during his visits. Robotically moving around the hospital room. Drawing the curtains, letting air in, preparing your food, feeding you.

As if he was magically programmed to take care of you. 

"Ah." Rindou states blankly, holinding up a spoonful of soup to your mouth. Despite the stoic face, you could see the glimmer of hope in his eyes, waiting for your compliance. So you sigh, opening your mouth to receive the spoon. 

You don't miss the way his lips twitch up just slightly before he successfully fights himself.

"I'm full!" You complain when you see him start to scoop another spoonful. "You need to eat more so you can get better faster!" He argues back. When you huff in disagreement, the blond sighs, placing the bowl down on your bedside table. 

Before you know it Rindou's already cleaning up your room again before his inevitable leave. And you know that, but you can't help but bring it up.

"You're leaving already?" You frown, unable to fight the unknowing feeling of being disappointed.

Oh, and the look of your sad eyes, the way your thumbs twiddle with each other— obviously trying to battle with wanting him to stay. Rindou wants to stay so badly too, if only you knew. But he stops himself. 

So, he teases you. What better way to make you not want him to stay?

"What, I didn't think you wanted me to stay so bad?" He smirks, one you haven't seen in almost a month. "I visit you a lot, don't tell me you miss me already." He turns around arranging the flowers he brought for you with a gentleness you grew to be familiar of.

But you're quick to glare at him, clicking your tongue. "Ha! As if I'd actually want to spend the rest of my confinement with the reason why I'm in here in the first place."

Rindou freezes his hands slowly drop to his side, and when you notice his unusual quietness, you knew you screwed up. "I already apologized, you know." He mutters pacing to the opposite side of the room from you where he set his helmet when he arrived hours ago. "Hey, it's not like I'm mad—" You stop yourself when you realize not even your words could hold him back. 

Without meaning to, he grabs his helmet with too much force you almost flinched. Clouded with too much overwhelming guilt and the very reminder of his presence being a danger to you, Rindou's actions became less Rindou and more Haitani. 

He left the room with a slam on the hospital door and you can't help but flinch at the bang of wood against its frame. 

~~~

For the past week since his last visit, he hasn't shown up. It shouldn't be upsetting, what you said was true. But Rindou didn't just apologized with words, he showed his atonement with his actions. He showed his regret with gentleness. He showed his love with vulnerability. 

And if you truly think about it, Rindou was no longer the cake the if from July 2004.

"Hey." Souya calls out from the doorframe, one of your bags slung on his shoulder. "Nahoya's waiting in the car, let's go." You jump slightly, quick to open the drawer where you stored the petals of wilted flowers from Rindou's last bouquet, shoving them to a small jar you requested from the nurse before your cousin's arrived.

You follow suit the younger twin, keeping the jar behind you, out of his view. "Wait. We have a car?" You quiped.

"Mucho suggested to come with us to pick you up using his car."

The mechanic guy!

"Oh!" 

There's a beat of one-sided, comfortable silence between you two before Souya speaks up again.

"Rindou hasn't visited you since last week, hasn't he?" 

Souya's always been quick to read the room. Way quicker than Nahoya, for sure. 

"What makes you think that?" You laugh nervously, thumb brushing frantically over the lid of the jar you held. "There's no fresh bouquet." He answers casually, as if it was second nature for him to know everything about you and the Haitani.

You keep your silence. "I don't really like flowers anyway." The lie slips from your slips naturally, but to Souya it sounded like you were convincing yourself more than him. "Sure, and there isn't a garden of tiger lilies in our backyard."

Just as you were about to retort, Nahoya calls you from the car Souya told you about. And, just as is, Mucho is in the driver's seat, a gentle smile gracing his features. You hop in the back seat while Souya loaded the trunk with your remaining things.

"How are you?"

"Felt like I was stabbed just a month ago."

Mucho laughs, a rumble from his chest, unusual for a seventeen year old. "It has been a month." Souya finally closes the trunk, turning to the backseat to sit beside you. "Alright, we're all set." He confirms as he closes the door. 

Surely enough, Mucho switches the keys and the engine comes to life. "Woah, she's loud!" Nahoya's quick to comment. "Just how I like it." Mucho retorts, making the older twin laugh heartily.

Souya deadpans, turning to you with a judging look. He expected you to return the favor, only for you to stare at your jar of wilted petals with the sorrow of a widowed spouse. "I don't even like flowers anyway." Souya leans in, and although the car's engine overpowered, his voice was still as clear as thunder to your ears. 

He's quick to whip away when you turn to glare at him, acting oblivious to the destruction caused by his own words. 

It took you four months to realize you never really hated Rindou Haitani. But it only took a week for you to mourn his absence. That's when Souya's own realization made you click your own.

It wasn't the distance between you and Rindou that made you upset. It was the time he could withstand without you and time you couldn't without him. 

Because distance often gives you a reason to love harder. Even if you didn't know you were loving in the first place.

A/n: I'm... I'm back... I'M BACK! Oh my gosh, it's been A YEAR since my last update... I'm so sorry for going AWOL, y'all. I woke up in the middle of the night and Rindou suddenly possessed me to finish his book. 

Anyways, I'll do my very best to upload until I finish his book. 

For some reason, Kisaki is still getting attention... 146k reads in the big '25 is crazyyyy!

Also, yes, I did change my name here to match my other socials. You can find me in Insta, Tumblr, and Tiktok with the same username!