Relapse || Ashton Irwin (C.A.L.M.)

Chp. 3 Breakdown | Ashton

I couldn't help but wince when Luke suddenly grabbed my are and by the looks I was getting for that I knew I wasn't getting out of this easily.
"Are you okay?" Luke asked gently as tears began to fill my eyes I looked into Luke's blue eyes before looking at the ground again. I thought about it for a few seconds before I shook my head slowly from left to right. Luke's hand which was still on my hand slipped and he pulled me into a hug. As soon as I felt his familiar arms around me the tears came faster and harder.
"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry I just couldn't find a better way to deal with it and then I was in a store and I saw a razor and I just bought it and I didn't mean to I just couldn't deal with it." I said burying my head into Luke's shirt which was wet with my tears and I felt two more pairs of arms engulf Luke and I. "I'm s-sorry." I apologized once again as Someone rubbed my back.
"You don't have to apologize we understand and were not angry I promise baby." I heard Calum say from beside my ear. I felt hot, wet tears on my neck where I figured Michael was.
"Mikey don't cry I'm sorry." He shook his head burying it deeper into my neck and I wrapped an arm around his body and felt it shaking.
"I d-don't want to lose you." He sobbed and I pulled my head off of Luke's shoulder and took Michael in my arms and he curled up in my lap the best he could.
"You won't I promise." I said but his grip on me didn't loosen one bit. The tears were still running down both of our faces but I didn't care at first I didn't want them to know about me cutting but knowing them they probably already knew about it. I knew they would help me get better and I hoped they did I didn't like it when any of my boyfriends felt like how Michael was feeling right now.