We all stayed cuddled on the floor until Calum started complaining that his legs were cramping and Luke suggested that we move to the bed. When we got on the bed Calum had his arms around Ashton who's back was pressed into his chest because he was still hugging me and Luke had his arms wrapped around both Ashton and I. I couldn't help but start think about Ashton's relapse, like what if he hadn't just cut what if he tried to commit instead of just cutting then he might've died and I didn't want to live in a world where Ashton wasn't here with his funny giggle of loud words or jokes. I subconsciously righted my grip on Ashton's body as my mind got the better of me. What if he accidentally or purposely cut to deep and we weren't here to save him. What if- I was pulled out of my thoughts by a hand rubbing up and down my arm and I looked to see Luke looking at me concerned. I could feel tears on my face and I snuggled my face in Luke's arms as I was practically on top off him. Ashton of course noticed immediately and took me out of Luke's arms and into his. I tried to stop crying because I knew he felt bad but the tears wouldn't stop I'd never really lost anyone in my life and I definitely didn't want Ashton to be the first.
"I'm sorry" he whispered into my ear and I shook my head.
"Don't apologize it's not your fault I'm just scared to lose you Ash." I said snuggling more into his warm embrace.
"I know and it is my fault, it's my fault for being so weak and brea-"
"Hey enough of that, it's not you're fault Ashy it's all the people on Twitter that are saying nasty things that should be feeling guilty not you or Mikey" Calum said cutting Ashton of before he started to get to carried away in his thoughts. Ashton nodded slightly but we could still tell he doubted that.
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Relapse || Ashton Irwin (C.A.L.M.)
FanfictionAshton has been getting a lot of hate the last few weeks and ends up turning back to an old habit to help him cope but hopefully his boyfriends can save him from himself. Ashton-Centric C.A.L.M. Story. Michael does have separation anxiety in this a...
