I'm with you

How does one teach another to love?

Kirsten POV

I wake up to the sound of the city below and the sun shining in my eyes through the small window, I sit up groggily as I rub the sleep from my eyes. When I take my hands away I stop. I'm in Cameron's room. I think for a moment and then a flood of memories from the night before comes back to my mind. Oh my god I squeak as I clamp my hands over my mouth. I'm frozen in shock as I realize what I almost did. I was going to jump. I really was. And I did. I was dangling over the edge screaming for Cameron to let me fall. Cameron. I look to my left and see him laying above the sheets with his body facing me. Luckily he is still fast asleep. Trying not to move much so I don't wake Cameron I lay back down in the bed, with my face facing his I notice the changes, it's only been a week or so and the Cameron I know looks beaten and tired. He has dark circles under his eyes and light stubble across his jawline, the changes are so subtle yet they make him look years beyond his age. His hand is resting next to his face on the pillow and I look at all the veins and textures in his hands. I close my eyes as my fingers lightly trace them while I think to myself. He looks tired and beaten because of you Kirsten, he was so worried about you that you broke him. And last night you shattered him into so many pieces.

I lay there for a while tracing his hand when he opens his eyes to see me touching his hand, "good morning" I say with a half smile. His eyes widen, and I realize he must be remembering what happened last night. He props himself up by leaning on his elbow and with his free hand he turns over my wrists and checks all my showing skin. Confused by his quick actions I ask "Cameron? Are you okay?" He looks up at my with so much sadness in his eyes. "You scared me stretch." I frown and lower my eyes. He then says "you tried to jump, who knows what else you could have done to yourself." As he continues to check for any sign of injury, "Cameron." I begin but he cuts me off. "Why would you do it Kirsten?" "I really don't know Cameron, while I was sleeping i had nightmares, such awful nightmares. And then one nightmare played over and over until I couldn't tell reality from my dream. I thought I was the boy from my nightmare." Cameron looked stunned, "so you didn't jump because you actually want to die?" My eyes light up, "oh god no! Cameron I wouldn't do that to you..." In my mind the you was everybody. But there in that moment with him I knew I meant just him. "Thank god" he says with a smile. I blush and look right at him. "Cameron. When I stitched into you. I saw." He cuts me off once again. "Look cupcake whatever you saw." But I don't let him finish. "Cameron all I saw was myself." He tenses up and I see his jaw tighten. "Why didn't you just tell me?" I ask quietly. "I can't just casually ask you if you want to go get takeout and then randomly tell you, oh yeah Kirsten I forgot to tell you but I'm madly in love with you." And like that the words were said. He stopped after he realized what he actually said and he rolled into his back and covered his face with his hands. "Oh my god I'm an idiot." He murmured into his palms. Shocked at what had just been said I take a deep breath, we sit there for a moment and I ask "you really love me?" He peeks his yes from between his fingers and jokingly mocks himself in an exasperated tone. "Madly." I furrow my brow and look away. Cameron sees his joking made me upset and his features soften and his voice quiets. He whispers "Kirsten Clark I am insanely madly in love with you." My eyes dart back to him as my heart races. "Cameron i don't know what it is, but I feel something towards you that I have never felt before." He smiles a halfhearted smirk, "but Cameron I don't know what love feels like" I close my eyes and sigh. "Kirsten" I feel his fingers brushing against my jaw. I open my eyes and look up. "If you would let me, I can teach you what love feels like." I look at him with questioning eyes. "How can one learn to love?" His eyes look so sad, sad for me, sad that I have never felt the thrill of love. He presses his lips together as if he is thinking something through, "Cameron Goodkin how can one learn to love when one has never felt live before?" My eyes are. Ow pleading for an answer. And his face relaxes, as though he's found an answer to whatever he was thinking through. "Like this." He whispers in a shaky tone. He holds u face with one hand and slowly leans in. And then we are kissing. Kissing kindly and savoring every bit. I feel his hand shaking ever so slightly so I put my hand on his and I feel his smile against my lips. And I think to myself. This is how I will learn to love. By being true. And true to whatever feelings and emotions I can understand. Because I know deep down that I feel something for Cameron. Something I've never felt before. So I lay there and I let the learning begin. Because this is how I should feel. Nervous and joyful all at once. This is what it's like to live. With love.